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One in a million...

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Alone I lie in bed at night, your the one thing on my mind. Waiting for that call that will never come, that wish that will never come true. No matter the amount of pain you cause; all i want is still you. That will never change, no one could ever take your place. Your one in a million.



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CarrieAnn13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Sept. 5, 2011 at 9:08 pm:

Okay, I have some criticism.

 

1.  Generally speaking, even free verse poems are in a stanza format, not in a paragraph.  It’s not always the case, but that’s what readers generally expect.

 

2.  In the first sentence, ‘your’ should be ‘you’re’.

 

3.  You need a comma, not a semicolon in the third sentence.  You also need to capitalize your ‘I’.  “... (more »)

 
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