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Se7en

Sloth
Wrath
Lust
Envy
Gluttony
Greed
Pride
Seven Forces,
Fighting Destiny,
Til the edge of the World...



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ToranThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 26, 2012 at 9:10 am

Nice job.

 

 
milforce said...
Oct. 30, 2011 at 9:56 pm
Nice job! So few words and yet, such a big impact! Really good poem!
 
Sarajustine said...
Oct. 18, 2011 at 4:07 pm
I liked this! It was very simple and meaningful. If I were you, I probably would have added a few more lines to it. But that's up to you. I love the quote on the side, by the way... Hahaa.
 
ChocoMint said...
Oct. 1, 2011 at 7:39 pm
I think it should be a little longer so it gives the reader more of an idea about what they're reading.  It has a great start, just needs to be longer.  
 
Readqueenz7 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 5:42 pm
I agree with Harebelle, I think this would be nice if it was longer.
 
Harebelle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 9:50 am
Interesting...and creative, but I think it would benefit from being longer. Keep writing!
 
Harebelle This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 9:51 am
I just read your description and laughed...I'm on Gaia too!
 
ArchimedesWhite replied...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 10:37 am
What's your name on there? Maybe you could join this rp... (of course, this would be after the seven characters became the new sins [long story])
 
Garnet77 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 4:04 am
Nice. I like that it's so short, yet says so much. Maybe a bit more description would have made it more powerful, but I think it still had an impact. :)
 
delz4 said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 11:52 pm
I like the simplicity and shortness of this poem.  It gives each individual word its own punch.  That said, I think I do agree with rage_against_the_machine, listing the sins doesn't give me much.  I like what you did with the ending though, it is powerful
 
rage_against_the_machine said...
Aug. 31, 2011 at 3:29 pm
Hmm.. I'm not one to judge how someone creatively expresses themselves, and I like the idea of this. But, I'm not really getting anything out of this, I think maybe you should have not named the sins, but rather implied them through description, to add a bit more depth to the poem.
 
ArchimedesWhite replied...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 8:46 am
I totally agree... I was simply bored, but i didn't want to write anything long, so i wrote about the Gaia roleplay i'm in.
 
rage_against_the_machine replied...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 3:24 pm
Ah, I see.
 
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