Se7en

August 19, 2011
By ZephyrVon-ZombieOverlord BRONZE, Cartersville, Virginia
ZephyrVon-ZombieOverlord BRONZE, Cartersville, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams


Sloth
Wrath
Lust
Envy
Gluttony
Greed
Pride
Seven Forces,
Fighting Destiny,
Til the edge of the World...


The author's comments:
I was inspired to write this by a Gaiaonline.com guild called
Til The Edge of the World
that i am currently in. I play as the man who overthrows Sloth (it's so appropriate...)

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This article has 13 comments.


Kipitama GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2012 at 9:10 am
Kipitama GOLD, Council Bluffs, Iowa
12 articles 0 photos 229 comments

Favorite Quote:
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." (Bartoletti, Campbell)

Nice job.

 


on Oct. 30 2011 at 9:56 pm
milforce SILVER, Bloomington, Illinois
9 articles 0 photos 135 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Those who have the ability to act, have the responsibility to act."

Nice job! So few words and yet, such a big impact! Really good poem!

on Oct. 18 2011 at 4:07 pm
Sarajustine BRONZE, Massapequa, New York
1 article 0 photos 35 comments
I liked this! It was very simple and meaningful. If I were you, I probably would have added a few more lines to it. But that's up to you. I love the quote on the side, by the way... Hahaa.

on Oct. 1 2011 at 7:39 pm
ChocoMint SILVER, Bloomington, Indiana
7 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time." - Anonymous

"Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear." - Anonymous

I think it should be a little longer so it gives the reader more of an idea about what they're reading.  It has a great start, just needs to be longer.  

on Sep. 1 2011 at 5:42 pm
Readqueenz7 SILVER, Oak Park, Illinois
6 articles 9 photos 16 comments
I agree with Harebelle, I think this would be nice if it was longer.

on Sep. 1 2011 at 3:24 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Ah, I see.

on Sep. 1 2011 at 10:37 am
ZephyrVon-ZombieOverlord BRONZE, Cartersville, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams

What's your name on there? Maybe you could join this rp... (of course, this would be after the seven characters became the new sins [long story])

Harebelle GOLD said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 9:51 am
Harebelle GOLD, Vancouver, Other
14 articles 1 photo 121 comments
I just read your description and laughed...I'm on Gaia too!

Harebelle GOLD said...
on Sep. 1 2011 at 9:50 am
Harebelle GOLD, Vancouver, Other
14 articles 1 photo 121 comments
Interesting...and creative, but I think it would benefit from being longer. Keep writing!

on Sep. 1 2011 at 8:46 am
ZephyrVon-ZombieOverlord BRONZE, Cartersville, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 32 comments

Favorite Quote:
The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams

I totally agree... I was simply bored, but i didn't want to write anything long, so i wrote about the Gaia roleplay i'm in.

on Sep. 1 2011 at 4:04 am
Garnet77 PLATINUM, Sinagpore, Other
31 articles 6 photos 578 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything's a triangle." ~ My mother

"Write what you love, write what you care about, because sometimes, it's the easiest way to be heard."

Nice. I like that it's so short, yet says so much. Maybe a bit more description would have made it more powerful, but I think it still had an impact. :)

delz4 GOLD said...
on Aug. 31 2011 at 11:52 pm
delz4 GOLD, San Francisco, California
14 articles 8 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Experience is not what happens to you, it\'s what you do with what happens to you." - Aldous Huxley

I like the simplicity and shortness of this poem.  It gives each individual word its own punch.  That said, I think I do agree with rage_against_the_machine, listing the sins doesn't give me much.  I like what you did with the ending though, it is powerful

on Aug. 31 2011 at 3:29 pm
rage_against_the_machine BRONZE, St. Augustine, Florida
4 articles 7 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
Difficult takes a day. Impossible takes.. oh, about a week?

Hmm.. I'm not one to judge how someone creatively expresses themselves, and I like the idea of this. But, I'm not really getting anything out of this, I think maybe you should have not named the sins, but rather implied them through description, to add a bit more depth to the poem.


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