For Eskimo

I wish I could relive those best moments of my life. The moments when nothing mattered but you and me, nothing existed except for my hand touching yours, my heart skipping beats and thumping irregularly beneath my skin. I wish I could have it all back. I wish I could recall every word said. I wish I could remember your kisses. How soft your lips were. I wish you still cared for me, in the same way you used to. I wish yodidnt’t break my heart, that yodidnt’t feel the need to drift away from me. I wish you never found her. I wish that she wasn’t part of your life. I wish I still was. I wish I didn’t lose it all, that I didn’t lose you. I wish I wasn’t so damn stupid and foolish. I wish I could feel safe in your arms again, hear your heartbeat. I wish that I wasn’t making this so obviously about you. I wish that yodidnt’t know that it’s about you. But even as you’re reading this- even as the words and letters flash before your eyes, you’re breathtaking eyes, you’re thinking to yourself ‘Damn, she’s still not over me. She still hasn’t let me go.’ And then all of those memories are going to race through your mind. All of the feelings, the secrets, the conversations, the kisses, the phone calls in the middle of the night. The times we said ‘I love you’ and ‘I love you too.’ But then, you’ll think of her. And I’m automatically replaced. Vanishing in mid-air, I’m no longer in your thoughts anymore. But she is. I’m invisible, nothing more than a faint memory in the back of your mind. Nothing more than a near-silent whisper in the wind. Practically inaudable. I don’t exist. You’re world revolves around her, she is the only one that you would follow into the dark, no matter the consequences or risks. She’s the only one that you long for. And though I promise to wait for you until the end, it means nothing to you. Promises usually don’t. </3





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