August 19, 2011
When ego starts haunting you

And lies are disturbing your motion

Then, the mind is void of thoughts

And what is left , a question

Your hands are empty and

Are full of regrets,

Your eyes are close when

You know the time is going

Like the burning cigarettes

The flames go up and ashes

Are down

You know something is paining you

But still you can’t make

A sound

Your fears fill those gaps

And smile is out of that section

Then, the blood losses his color

And what is left, a question

Some one tries to help you

You know he is pretending from

the crust

you think twice before giving

your hand when everyone has

broken your trust

you feel ashamed for

the mistakes you have’nt commit

you cannot express it, its like

a butcher cutting you bit by bit

you look at your back

your whole past is like

a haunted mansion

then, the heart stops pumping

and what is left, a question

you need to get over, you are

pushing yourself but

it is like a strong hangover

every step you take is like

those promises u make, that are incomplete

you stumble, you fall, you know

you are good at this

but today you cannot cheat

you get the answers in pieces

you join the puzzles on every thesis

then your instincts count your action

and you know,

you are far behind your question

Join the Discussion

This article has 4 comments. Post your own now!

MadHater said...
Aug. 2, 2013 at 3:21 pm
Pretty good... I personally prefer poetry with more of a structure, but it's still not bad!
Breathfree replied...
Aug. 4, 2013 at 8:18 am
I will keep that in mind . thanx mad
AcidRoses said...
Aug. 2, 2013 at 3:19 pm
You were correct, it is very " RAW." But it was also very good.  Keep writing, you'll only get better. You have a very good vocabulary for someone who doesn't have english as their first language. Just brush up on your grammar rules and you should be fine. You have a LOT of writing potential if you just continue to fine tune your writing skills and keep writing.  What I see you mostly mess up on is subject-verb agreement as I said on... (more »)
Breathfree said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 2:56 pm
this was my first work in poetry... i know its bit raw n may be not enough to count in the standars of teen ink.... but it is special to me... so enjoy!!
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