Questions

August 19, 2011
By Breathfree BRONZE, Jammu, Other
Breathfree BRONZE, Jammu, Other
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
luk in2 my eyez.... D soul iz burnin !!


When ego starts haunting you



And lies are disturbing your motion



Then, the mind is void of thoughts



And what is left , a question



Your hands are empty and


Are full of regrets,


Your eyes are close when


You know the time is going


Like the burning cigarettes










The flames go up and ashes


Are down


You know something is paining you


But still you can’t make


A sound





Your fears fill those gaps

And smile is out of that section

Then, the blood losses his color

And what is left, a question








Some one tries to help you

You know he is pretending from

the crust

you think twice before giving

your hand when everyone has

broken your trust




you feel ashamed for

the mistakes you have’nt commit

you cannot express it, its like

a butcher cutting you bit by bit






you look at your back

your whole past is like

a haunted mansion

then, the heart stops pumping

and what is left, a question


you need to get over, you are

pushing yourself but

it is like a strong hangover

every step you take is like

those promises u make, that are incomplete

you stumble, you fall, you know

you are good at this

but today you cannot cheat




you get the answers in pieces

you join the puzzles on every thesis

then your instincts count your action

and you know,

you are far behind your question



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This article has 4 comments.


on Aug. 4 2013 at 8:18 am
Breathfree BRONZE, Jammu, Other
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
luk in2 my eyez.... D soul iz burnin !!

I will keep that in mind . thanx mad

on Aug. 2 2013 at 3:21 pm
MadelynHope BRONZE, Trophy Club, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 13 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them." -Walt Disney

Pretty good... I personally prefer poetry with more of a structure, but it's still not bad!

on Aug. 2 2013 at 3:19 pm
AcidRoses SILVER, Elmont, New York
8 articles 0 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Many that live deserve death and some that have died deserve life, can you give that to them? Do not be to hasty to deal out death and judgement, even the very wise cannot see all ends."


"Can't get no more free randy!"

You were correct, it is very " RAW." But it was also very good.  Keep writing, you'll only get better. You have a very good vocabulary for someone who doesn't have english as their first language. Just brush up on your grammar rules and you should be fine. You have a LOT of writing potential if you just continue to fine tune your writing skills and keep writing.  What I see you mostly mess up on is subject-verb agreement as I said on my previous comment, and just simple mis-spells. Remember to edit your work!  Great job.

on Aug. 26 2011 at 2:56 pm
Breathfree BRONZE, Jammu, Other
3 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
luk in2 my eyez.... D soul iz burnin !!

this was my first work in poetry... i know its bit raw n may be not enough to count in the standars of teen ink.... but it is special to me... so enjoy!!


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