Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

and yet the silence lingers

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
But the silence lingers
Leaves you on the edge of your seat
And you wait
Till through the dry ice
Comes the first footstep
The first whisper
The first chords
The tension builds
The lights come on
The screaming starts…..
And yet
in the echoing confines between your ears
the silence lingers




Join the Discussion


This article has 4 comments. Post your own!

casielynnxoxo said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 7:40 pm:
The authors comment explains a lot, I can relate to this poem.
 
miracle_of_hope replied...
Aug. 24, 2011 at 6:19 pm :
nggwww thanks
 
kingofwritersThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 2, 2011 at 7:07 pm :

I thought it was good, but there are a few things you need to work on.

 

In poems, all the first letters of the lines are often capitalized. Also, you started off the poem with the word 'but', which makes it seem like it's continuing from another poem when it's not.

 

But other than that, you're a great poet, and I'd love to see some more of your work soon!

 
secrets_of_silence replied...
Nov. 7, 2011 at 2:07 pm :
king of writers thanks for the criteque. have you ever seen dr. who? this poem is a continuation of the story line dealing with the silence
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback