A New Name

August 16, 2011
Custom User Avatar
More by this author
A delicate curling of my lip
Just like Christmas ribbon
A slow flick of my tongue
Feeling soft and easy
The sound from my mouth
Starts the butterflies in my belly
It forms like a ring of smoke
And floats into the sky
The moment it turned to spoken word
I knew it meant beginning

Join the Discussion

This article has 12 comments. Post your own now!

sarahology This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 11:58 am

This is beautiful, I love how symbolic it is. Personally, I thought of the feeling you get when you're intoduced to a new guy you're interested in, and just his name conjures up all these new-beginning-what-if feelings. So beautiful - love the last line. I'm not too crazy about using "spoken word" - words are at a premium in such a short poem, the phrase seems a little redundant, and spoken word is a genre of poetry so that's confusing. To avoid the clutter - maybe "The moment I spoke it" or ... (more »)

ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 3:36 pm
You are absolutely right about the message! Those were my exact feelings put into this. It completely slipped my mind that spoken word is a form of poetry, but now that you said it, it's all I can think about. I don't really like "The moment I spoke it", but I'll change it to something similar. Thanks! (:
sarahology This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 3:52 pm
Yeah no prob! :)
ChocoMint said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 4:43 pm
I love the way you don't say what you are explaining in the poem. The title says it all and the poem is just one of many definitions!  I love it and think it would be great for your college portfolio!  =+)
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 28, 2011 at 4:14 pm
Aw, thank you so much!
FreedomIsMyVirtue said...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 3:17 am
Well, I like this poem, maybe because I like to experiment on names. Anyway, this is short but all the more great!!! Keep it up...
MagicMan2011 said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm
I think this poem can be mixed up with other meanings. Its a good poem but mixed up part is a problem
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 27, 2011 at 2:25 pm
I see what you mean, but I think the point of poetry is to find your own meaning in it, relate it to yourself, but I definitely understand your point, just don't know how I can fix it, and I actually rather like it how it is lol. Thank you for the feedback! I appreciate it!
casielynnxoxo said...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 11:34 am
I like the first two lines, they are really good. I don't understand how the name fits into the poem though, can you explain that to me please? I do like this poem a lot though  :)
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 22, 2011 at 10:51 pm
All of the lines are pretty much about the way me speaking the new name felt, and the name doesn't literally translate to beginning, but how I can feel it's the beginning of something, you know? Hope that clarifies! (:
casielynnxoxo replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 4:28 pm
Oh, I understand now. The first time reading it, I thought it was a literal, new name. Haha. I love the first two lines.
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Yeah, I see how that can get mixed up! Thank you(:
bRealTime banner ad on the left side
Site Feedback