War against myself

August 18, 2011
I’m drowning in my own thoughts, the harder i try to slow them down, the faster pace they pick up. im at war , i need to come home but my commander wont let me. i have two options. Fight or die. i have many battle wounds, the quicker they heal, the more i wish that they had taken me from this life. People try to save me, but this conflict is left in only my hands. No one understands this pain I’m facing. the typical conversation i face everyday consists of nothing more then how many medications can be shoved down my throat to end this war. they don’t realize that bombing the enemy will only give me a little leeway, once recovered my enemies are not far behind. on my tail they capture me again locking me away torturing me with my past, and with the fears of my future. they show me cruel unimaginable things and convince me that im capable of doing them. after so long i begin to wonder if im becoming the enemy. joining forces with them, but i know one thing for sure i will die before i let them take over.i wont confess my secrets to them, if i go down ill go down fighting because that’s what i was born to do. i cant give up, if i loose this battle it will end me, myself. as well as everyone im fighting for.

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