Driving deeper into this blackness. Holding this blade as if it were a precious gem, glistening in this dull ambience. As if it were my treasure, my toy. So sharp. Pushing down on this cool blade harder in my skin to make the crimson run. The taste is so inviting, exquisite and so limited. Slipping deeper. I feel good. No, I feel alive! Pupils dilated. Low and heavy breathing. Moaning softly. The smell of this copper smell gets me high. The taste gets me drunk. This moment is like a rush. A moment of adrenaline. Blood trickles down my arm and dripping into the porcelain bathroom sink. Staining glass. I didn't mean to. I needed to silence the demons screaming in my head. Now my mind is at ease, peace. My fingers failed to understand and continue to play. Grinning wide. Licking my lips. The bathroom seems darker and blurred. So vague. Letting go to this poison. This drug. Not my rush. White pills swirled down this drain and now red blood flows smoothly then dripping down this drain. Draining me of life or is this filling me with pure pleasure? Scars from last time I had this rush, this pleasure. Nothing can be explained. Only that I am satisfied.
An EMOtion Rush
August 8, 2011