I would give this a good title, but then it would seem as if I cared.

July 20, 2011
By Anonymous

I really
can’t help but
wish that things had gone as planned.
I wanted them to
come upstairs and find my
dead body,
seemingly asleep.
Not even dead,
a coma at the least.
I wanted to
never wake up,
I wanted to
never go back.
I still want to.

At the
loony house, I
told them I was sorry.
I
told them that I
didn’t know what I was doing.
I told them I
didn’t want to die anymore.

Lies.
All of them.

Now I have
no means of hurting myself, no
way to cause any harm.
My pills are locked up.
I don’t have any sharp things.
I’m too wimpy to hang myself.
I guess if I
really wanted to die, then I would
find a way-
if there’s a will, there’s a way-
but who am I kidding.
Everything I
do and feel is
half-assed.
So is this.

I haven’t written in
MONTHS.
I’ve been saying it’s
writer’s block,
saying it’s my
lack of time...
So.
Many.
Excuses.
Do excuses count as
lies?
Just curious.

So I guess I should be coming to a
conclusion;
but to this
situation there is no conclusion,
why should there be one to this
poem?
Why should I care whether you
like this or not, whether I
end this well or not?

Oh yeah.
I shouldn’t.


The author's comments:
Just thoughts that I've been holding in for a while. I hadn't written in so long, and these feelings has been all pent up inside me. Cheesy, I know, but who doesn't love explanations?

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This article has 1 comment.


on Aug. 15 2011 at 8:55 pm
WinterFairy PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
45 articles 15 photos 111 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Don't dream it. Be it."
"Singing is praying twice, and dancing is singing with the body."
"Paper is more patient than man."
"Where you live shouldn't determine whether you live"

I don't know if you really mean all those things, but if you do, I just wanna tell you keep holding on. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel, right? And if you don't believe that, I speak from experience when I say it's true.


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