Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

After Dark

Custom User Avatar
More by this author
Well we went way back into our heads and we saw all our old

empires and effigies airing out

in ruins amongst canary-headed ballerinas,

brittle bones popping,

crackling as they roasted.

The fat sizzled.

Cradled in the flames we found

antique ribbons long forgotten.

We discovered desires,

dumb dreams of dreary days and

fears we didn’t know we were

supposed to have.

We understood love and lilies and

how to play the oboe.

We knew; we rejected our prejudice, our weakness.

We were inventors

scientists

lovers

poets.

We were fortune-tellers

we were

God

Goddess

Devil and

Creator.

We forgot it all

before our heads left the pillow.




Join the Discussion


This article has 11 comments. Post your own!

Kiki_McGee said...
Aug. 3, 2012 at 3:36 pm:
I enjoyed it. I think that my favorite part was about the canary over the fire! My only advice would be to add commas when listing off things and to perhaps exchange "dumb" for a better word (it threw me for a loop). Other than that, great job!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
these-roses said...
Jun. 5, 2012 at 8:09 pm:
wow there is more than what is just on the page, the meaning can run deep if  you read it correctly. i really love this!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
thetruthawaits94This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Mar. 23, 2012 at 12:34 am:
What exactly is this about? can you explain it in short to me? When I am reading I'm getting that it's the thoughts we think right before we sleep. When you're daydreaming right before you dream for real. I could be totally wrong. I hope I don't embaress myself! As for the poem, I love your word choice, especially at the beginning. I think that you should take out the word "well" on the very first line and just start it off with "we". I really love how this poem isn't so straightforward and it t... (more »)
 
Tiwaz replied...
Mar. 24, 2012 at 11:45 am :
Thanks for the critique! And yes, that's basically what it's about (it could be about dreams or pre-dreams, it doesn't really matter).
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
horsewriter4evrThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Mar. 18, 2012 at 12:51 pm:
this is a really awesome i love the idea! it is so amazing! 
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
dreamshaker said...
Mar. 17, 2012 at 10:05 pm:

I am speechless.

This was so beautiful, I can't even express how powerful it really was. The last lines especially were absolute perfection.

I can't believe this isn't published in the magazine. It's freaking amazing.

 
EPluribusUnumThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Mar. 18, 2012 at 12:07 pm :
Heck yeah! This NEEDS to be in the mag.
 
Tiwaz replied...
Mar. 19, 2012 at 8:58 pm :
Well, thanks a buttload to both of you. :) It means a lot. 
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
jaylw said...
Aug. 15, 2011 at 2:28 pm:
oboes rock!! great poem by the way!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Eqrider This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 4:24 pm:
I loved this! I had to read it twice actually but it has such an edgy, creative style to it! The last two lines pull it together beautifully! Check out my work if you get a chance.
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
savetheplanetThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Aug. 13, 2011 at 9:01 pm:
Wow, such beautiful imagery.  I loved it. :D
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback