Magazine, website & books written by teens since 1989

Eaten

damp willows send a shadow over the house
that home sat by itself for so many years
loneliness still remains in its thick wooden door
soft leaves clash with the white chipping paint

it stays hidden deep in the forest where she commanded it
her wrinkly aged skin and hyena-like cackle sent my heart racing

one fatal choice was all it took
curiosity overcame me as my body moved
into the home I went
and I was the next Gretel eaten by the Gingerbread house




Join the Discussion


This article has 2 comments. Post your own!

HannSawyer15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 12:55 pm:
I liked this one. :) The only thing I would say is in the first stanza where you said "for so many years" maybe switch it to "for so long" ?? Your choice! But I love when you say "where she commanded it" :) Keep writing! :D
 
Livvy97 replied...
Aug. 12, 2011 at 3:39 pm :
Thanks! I'll look at your suggestion!
 
Reply to this comment Post a new comment
 
Site Feedback