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Forever Friends

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Gone the days of corner stores
Gone the days of swings
Gone the days of pickles on pizza
Gone but not forgotten

Lost the upside-down days
Laying in your car
Lost the frozen lemonade
Lost but not forgotten

Still I sit around;
Nostalgia-driven daze
Wishing to be back there
The summer that was us



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This article has 14 comments. Post your own!

Rayne said...
Aug. 30, 2011 at 11:18 am:
It's cute and i like it! Especially the "lost the upside down days" and "Nostalgia driven daze/wishing to be back there/the summer that was us"
 
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sarahologyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 12:05 pm:
This is really sweet :) I like how you're showing w literal examples rather than telling. The only part I would consider changing is the "gone but not forgotten" - yes, it gets your sentiment across exactly but it's also a cliche, used over and over, I think people also use it to talk about dead people. Not what you want, right? So I'd definitely re-word that, just using synonyms. You could even do, always remembered, still there, etc. Other than that, really relatable and sweet poem. I've defin... (more »)
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 3:37 pm :
Thanks, that was really helpful! I'll be taking your advice. (:
 
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casielynnxoxo said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 4:36 pm:
Nostalgia-driven daze
I love that! <3
 
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casielynnxoxo said...
Aug. 23, 2011 at 4:35 pm:
Nostalgia-driven daze
<3 I love that.
 
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DeusExMachina said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 7:41 pm:
nice job. very good imagery. not really my personal kind of thing, but I still liked it!
 
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HannSawyer15This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 12:03 pm:
Kind of reminds me of a friend I used to have... except the pickles. Lol oddly we both hated pickles. Nice poem! And I love the repetition of "Gone but not forgotten" maybe add that as a last line? Great job and keep writing! :D
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 12:35 pm :
That's a good idea; adding it as the last line!
 
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PoetikMuzyk said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 11:30 am:

i enjoyed it...reflecting on memories is what keeps the memories in place where they are never forgotten...I miss my grandma and family memebers that i have recently lost but remembering the things we use to do keeps them close :)

 

 
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ZildjThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 2:21 am:
Song lyrics! They sing naturally. 
 
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thetruthawaits94This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 11:09 pm:
This is cute. (Sorry to describe it in the same way as the others, but that is just the right word! :D) i would capitalize the "us". Great writing. It is fresh (if you know what i mean)!
 
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-TheAftermath- said...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 10:58 pm:
aww this is cute
 
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LizzieBallerina said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 10:50 am:
Oh cute! It's like a memory for you right? It reminds me of my best friend. Good flow and good imagery. I liked it :)
 
ohheyyyelli replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 10:20 pm :
It was actually about my best friend! We were really close for a few years, and slowly started drifting. There was one summer that we felt infinite and indestructable, and that's what this poem is about. She may be the only one who fully understands it (our constant trips to the corner store, practically living at the park, mixing our two favorite foods- pickles and pizza. The night we rode in her car upside down with her sister, and ended in a pig pile with me on the bottom practically suffocat... (more »)
 
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