Forever Friends

July 29, 2011
By ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments

Gone the days of corner stores
Gone the days of swings
Gone the days of pickles on pizza
Gone but not forgotten

Lost the upside-down days
Laying in your car
Lost the frozen lemonade
Lost but not forgotten

Still I sit around;
Nostalgia-driven daze
Wishing to be back there
The summer that was us



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This article has 14 comments.


Rayne GOLD said...
on Aug. 30 2011 at 11:18 am
Rayne GOLD, Chippewa Falls, Wisconsin
17 articles 0 photos 46 comments
It's cute and i like it! Especially the "lost the upside down days" and "Nostalgia driven daze/wishing to be back there/the summer that was us"

on Aug. 29 2011 at 3:37 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
Thanks, that was really helpful! I'll be taking your advice. (:

on Aug. 29 2011 at 12:05 pm
Sarahhhhhhh BRONZE, Malden, Massachusetts
4 articles 0 photos 28 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The silence depressed me. It wasn't the silence of silence. It was my own silence."
- Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

This is really sweet :) I like how you're showing w literal examples rather than telling. The only part I would consider changing is the "gone but not forgotten" - yes, it gets your sentiment across exactly but it's also a cliche, used over and over, I think people also use it to talk about dead people. Not what you want, right? So I'd definitely re-word that, just using synonyms. You could even do, always remembered, still there, etc. Other than that, really relatable and sweet poem. I've definitely been there :]

on Aug. 23 2011 at 4:36 pm
casielynnxoxo SILVER, Pasadena, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You'll never fully understand someone, unless you are them."

Nostalgia-driven daze
I love that! <3

on Aug. 23 2011 at 4:35 pm
casielynnxoxo SILVER, Pasadena, Maryland
6 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You'll never fully understand someone, unless you are them."

Nostalgia-driven daze
<3 I love that.

on Aug. 10 2011 at 7:41 pm
DeusExMachina SILVER, Reading, Pennsylvania
7 articles 6 photos 93 comments

Favorite Quote:
The universe was exploding, each particle away from the next, hurtling us into dark and lonely space, eternally tearing us away from each other--child out of the womb, friend away from friend, moving from each other, each through his own pathway toward the goal-box of solitary death

nice job. very good imagery. not really my personal kind of thing, but I still liked it!

on Aug. 10 2011 at 12:35 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
That's a good idea; adding it as the last line!

on Aug. 10 2011 at 12:03 pm
HannSawyer15 BRONZE, North Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I say... lets speak it. Lets fight it. Lets write it. There's nothing to hold on to if it's already gone."

Kind of reminds me of a friend I used to have... except the pickles. Lol oddly we both hated pickles. Nice poem! And I love the repetition of "Gone but not forgotten" maybe add that as a last line? Great job and keep writing! :D

AMJaeh DIAMOND said...
on Aug. 10 2011 at 11:30 am
AMJaeh DIAMOND, Gallatin, Tennessee
51 articles 80 photos 106 comments

Favorite Quote:
you don't have to understand the language to know its Poetik written Muzyk~PoetikMuzyk
Not Everything is ours to keep, no matter how hard we had to fight for it~PoetikMuzyk
‎"The face of my enemy only frightens me when I see how much it resembles mine"
- Stanislaw J. Lec

a few neurons can make us all a morons dont you think?

i enjoyed it...reflecting on memories is what keeps the memories in place where they are never forgotten...I miss my grandma and family memebers that i have recently lost but remembering the things we use to do keeps them close :)

 


on Aug. 10 2011 at 2:21 am
PaigeStreet PLATINUM, Juneau, Alaska
47 articles 0 photos 218 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Stay golden"
- Johnny (The Outsiders, S. E. Hinton)

Song lyrics! They sing naturally. 

on Aug. 9 2011 at 11:09 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

This is cute. (Sorry to describe it in the same way as the others, but that is just the right word! :D) i would capitalize the "us". Great writing. It is fresh (if you know what i mean)!

Number7713 said...
on Aug. 9 2011 at 10:58 pm
Number7713, La Mesa, California
0 articles 0 photos 19 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn to say no. Because when the Devil shows up with a trunk full of promises, it's harder than you think to walk away." -I don't know...
or
"Think outside of your situation." -Hodgy Beats

aww this is cute

on Aug. 9 2011 at 10:20 pm
ohheyyyelli SILVER, Woonsocket, Rhode Island
5 articles 3 photos 178 comments
It was actually about my best friend! We were really close for a few years, and slowly started drifting. There was one summer that we felt infinite and indestructable, and that's what this poem is about. She may be the only one who fully understands it (our constant trips to the corner store, practically living at the park, mixing our two favorite foods- pickles and pizza. The night we rode in her car upside down with her sister, and ended in a pig pile with me on the bottom practically suffocating, and all of us laughing so hard we couldn't breathe or move. So many lemonade memories- the creepy lemonade truck, the stock i had in my basement that we constantly drank, the numerous times i spit it out from laughter. Pretty much that summer will always be ours, and we'll remain best friends just through that summer and our friendship. Basically, the moment is gone but it is never forgotten and we'll always be connected, and even though I've seen her merely twice since December, I still feel like I could talk to her if I needed to. I know the explanation wasn't needed and it's not as special for you as it is for us, but I just felt like sharing (:

on Aug. 6 2011 at 10:50 am
Oh cute! It's like a memory for you right? It reminds me of my best friend. Good flow and good imagery. I liked it :)


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