I wish for a night of dreams, hopes and fantasies. I don’t care if it’s stupid thing to wish for, but honestly, my nights have been hell. Every night I get lonelier, and sadder for nothing. I can’t make myself happy. I can’t help others to make them happy. It’s useless! I wish for something to go right. I wish I can do better. I wish I could just climb on my roof and fall backwards from the edge. Yes I wish this. I wish to fall even if there has to be a bottom. I wish to consume myself in the smelling liquids or the lethal toxins. All these wishes of bad and good aren’t the best for me, but then what is else there to do for someone broken up like me?
August 2, 2011