Dear Goddess

July 24, 2011
this is me, reaching out where i never go.
because goddess, i have done a thing.
a beautiful thing well intended,
that bore the blade
to a thing that was naught but sorrow.
to the eyes of my peers i am clear sighted.
i see the horror, the weight,
the calamities that ail them.
and to myself- i am blind.
i cannot see the way to me in another's' eyes.
i am frozen again,
which means that the time where i found some alleviation from my pains
has passed.
it is time again for me to put above myself
the one to whom i have done wrong.
i am not sorry for this thing i have done.
I -am- sorry, for the strength of the ripples it has caused,
because it caused a pain to one undeserving.
i walk the path to a place most call Hell,
and it is well paved with good intent.
it has not a bump, or crack in its surface.
i am a creature of touch,
and often i can bring a kind of comfort others would not give.
i give freely of myself because it is all i have to give that is mine.
and i hold close to me the pain i take from others.
it tears at my heart,
and my veins
like the poison i knew it was when i took it unto my self.
so i am sorry i could not see
what he was trying to say with his eyes as he watched me.
i am sorry for what i caused a man undeserving.
fae do not ask forgiveness,
they simply assume it is their right-
but i am not wholly fae.
they do not give thanks either-
they simply gift favors.
but again-
i am not wholly fae.
so I'm sorry. so sorry.
for the fact this thing has caused sorrow and anger,
and i thank the gods,
it did what i intended for the other.
his eyes were not so heavy when he left.
goddess, i beg of thee,
forgive your broken daughter
though she walks the path to hell in bell clad ankles.

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