It hits me like a wave and pulls me down under,

Not letting me go until I surrender.

It drags me along and doesn’t let go

Not even when I protest and tell it ‘no’

It yells at me and hurts me and shows no remorse

It comes out of nowhere and I don’t know the source

It’s the urge that’s so powerful that does this to me

The urge that’s so painful and comes so suddenly

Finally I give in and I reach for the blade

I look down at my arm at the scars that won’t fade

In a second it’s over and I feel so alive

I’m broken and distant but I know I’ll survive

I lay on the floor crying and laughing at the same time

I love what this does and no one can take it - it’s mine

They tell me to stop because it will hurt me in the end

But I need it so much that I can’t comprehend

So I will keep it — it’s special — ‘cuz it’s my one only vice

It helps me more than it hurts me and I’m willing to pay the price