Yourself

July 26, 2011
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I just found what I’ve missed
A lack of creativity, love and bliss
I’m consumed by this technology
So addictive, it has me under control, mocking me
And I am not able to stop this feed
Facebook and youtube and I am not me
When I am a computer
Disillusion that I’ve been screwed for
Never able to stop myself
I’m dependent on something mankind helped
It’s not social
It’s just an idea
A social network connecting all of us, keeping us near
But if that’s how it has to be I’d rather be far away
I can’t shut down my macbook because it’d be mayday
My ship is crashing
Only two weeks at home and I’m lashing
Out at my mother
Angry at my brother for smoking pot again
Doing it alone because he has trouble with friends
“I won’t send you to college!” She screams
And can’t figure out that we were a ****ing team
It doesn’t have to be this way
A stoner has a label
“Handle carefully or I’ll be disabled”
But apparently she’s blind
Beside herself and he’s out of his mind
And my father
I’m done with him, I won’t bear to bother
With his insanity
His brain has turned to mush and he’s turned to calamity
In destroying relationships
He has the ring but can’t make it fit
On his children’s fingers
Because his stench reeks of depression and it lingers
A negative attitude and vibe won’t get him anywhere
Worse when he covers it up, lying and trying to be fair
Anger isn’t an emotion you can destroy
Your mind isn’t a fisher ****ing price toy
Because people tell me they’re done with sadness
That the only solace they have resides in happiness
You can’t kill a feeling
Even when you have a gram, chilling
Becauses running away is no escape
Retaliate because you can’t get a damned thing straight
Covering up emotions with drugs
Because your parents don’t know how to love
You
But you just don’t know how to express your own truth
And if you don’t slow it all down, you lose
Yourself
And it’s so hard to write
When it’s so hard to fight
Yourself
And it’s so hard to live
When you can’t accept and forgive
Yourself
And I don’t know How to show
All of you
How to be
Yourself





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