Enticing

July 26, 2011
By Anonymous

How innocent a carousel is
Dancing in its glorious donuts
Alluring visions
And sweet sounds that whisper straight to your nerves
Tingling the silhouettes
Whom tip-toe among those distances
Young, foolish thoughts
Inviting them out to play
Enticing, yet familiarly comforting
Can't help but to relax
And get sucked up into youth
Once again


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This article has 6 comments.


on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:50 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
Oops! Thanks for the correction and the comment!

on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:45 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

This is great! I love the line with the "glorious donuts" in it! :)))  The only thing is that whom should be who. It's proper grammar... :) Great work!

on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:43 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
Thanks! That's what I was aiming for.

on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:42 pm
PhoenixCrossing GOLD, Tinley Park, Illinois
14 articles 0 photos 179 comments
thanks! I've never really thought about punctuation but maybe I'll try to play around with it the next time I write!

Eirias SILVER said...
on Aug. 1 2011 at 4:10 pm
Eirias SILVER, Spring, Texas
5 articles 0 photos 71 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you wish to be a writer, write" -Epictetus

It's good! Personally, I like to use puntuation, because there's a lot more that you can do with it. If you leave the words hanging all out there with no puntuation, they are just words floating in the ether, and your job is to make them as beautiful as possible. With puntuation, the poem can take more the direction as if someone is speaking it, with all its variations in tone and speed and volume. I edit prose more, which is probably why I have and inclination to have a directional poem with punctuation.

on Aug. 1 2011 at 2:46 pm
WiseGirl BRONZE, Adams, Tennessee
4 articles 0 photos 82 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I think, therefore I am."
-Rene Decartes

I really liked it! Good job! It really does make me think about my childhood.


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