What if ?

July 8, 2011
Little do people know how much words hurt.How they tear at my flesh ripping it ever so slowly without anesthetics to take the pain away.

How their words r*** my mind, set it on fire, and never put it out. It just sits there and smolders, smolders away my life, my love, my mind, me!

How i hide behind false antics to make you believe i am strong, hiding behind a wall of false happiness.

Only you don't really know me. Behind the thick wall of false antics lays a girl cold and lonely only wishing to be accepted by others, loved by another, looked at as a sister, maybe a lover.

Why does it matter? It matters because I've never truly accepted myself, loved myself, found value in myself.

Looking into a mirror is like looking at the sky. Not knowing what to think or say about it, never truly knowing what it consists of or how far up it is.

Little do people know how much words hurt. How they help me dig the grave I've been digging for 16 years.

Trying to think life is all a battle on its own but what if life isn't your worst enemy, what if you are?

Constantly trying to get wrapped up in love that i have never found in myself. I cant walk without hopping I'll find myself in the end, but what good is hope when hope itself is hopeless within you?

Whats the point of trying to find love when the seed was never planted?

Whats the point of living life when life was never born within you?

Whats the point?

But all your words do is add on to what i believe on a daily basis, Nothing!

Try thinking your specially when people tell you your not worth it.

Try moving forward in life while walking backwards.

Try finding love when love always runs from you.

Try being you when you don't know who you are.

Little do people know how much words hurt, but what do you do when the person that's hurting you the most is yourself?

What do you say when the person that hates you the most is the one staring back at you in the mirror?

What if the person that always See's black and white and never gets to see the light is the one who has the switch?

What if you cant stand after you have broken your own legs but your only truly begging to fly with the wings you were never given?

What if its not the words that people say that hurt you the most, but the reality in them that set you on fire in the first place?

What if ?

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