I'm Sorry

July 21, 2011
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I would say these words to your face,
But then, for that I'd need courage.
Courage to face your accusing gaze.
Courage to tell you I didn't mean it.

But I have no courage.
Nor bravery.
Nor daring.

Sometimes I believe that, perhaps,
If I said these words to your face.
You'd realise that I never meant it.

I didn't mean to be such a s***** s****
Such a backstabbing b****

The reason, you see,
Is that I feared you would grow bored of me.
Ridiculous, you say
But try
Just try
To see it through my eyes.

He was meant to be the back up plan.
Someone to comfort me when you realised
That you could do better than settling for me.

I am nothing but a wisp of magic,
With an immeasurable capacity to love.

I wanted to give that love to you,
Because you gave me your soul.
You healed me.
Made me whole.

I felt alive when I was with you.
And blue crystal flowers,
Floated upon gentle rose scented breezes
In the landscape of my dreams

I gave you back the necklace.
Because I new it was meant for someone better than me.
You said I could've kept it.
But how could I?
After hurting you so?
After betraying you?

All for the sake of having a safety net.

I should have taken the risk.
I should have jumped.
That way I could have proven to us both.
That I was good enough for you,
And not just the selfish girl,
That destroyed what we had.

And so, my love
My dear.
Me sweet.

I apologise.
I am sorry.
More sorry than you will ever now.

For I now I truly understand,
That to prove my love,
I must let you go.

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