The Perfect Doll

July 20, 2011
Just sew my lips together
With sloppy stitch
All my words are knives to you
Just replace my eyes with buttons
Black and lifeless
All they see is your pain
Just replace my heart with stuffing
Lumpy and full hate
All it does is hurt you with its wants
Sew me up, make me a doll
Make me perfect, unmoving
Make me your doll To be on your shelf
Where I can watch and love you
Without causing you hurt
Do this for me
Do this for you
Make me a doll
Make me perfect

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This article has 20 comments. Post your own now!

IamtheshyStargirl said...
Mar. 16, 2012 at 9:36 pm

Interesting; sad, but very beautiful. There were a few mistakes, but I won't point them out because somebody probably already has. 

it has an (sorry to be redundant) interesting sentiment; like a sort of nettling, self-effaceing, wry irony. 

O_oRiet said...
Sept. 7, 2011 at 5:33 pm
Oooh!! Creepy in an awesome way!!! Reminds me a ton of the opening scean in Coraline. >o<   LOVE IT, FOX!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!!!!!
xXx_Fox_xXx replied...
Sept. 8, 2011 at 11:14 am
Aw shucks thanks *^-^*
Eirias said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 11:27 am

You know, it really seems like the stuff everyone is asking me to read it the same format: no punctuation. I can't really give solid suggestions to "words floating on the ether" (that's a phrase I've coined talking about puntuation-less poetry. It seems like that is the kind everyone is most worried about).


It's good, just note that you capitalized "To." I feel bad that I don't have much to say, so I think I'll try to find your other one on the forum.

xXx_Fox_xXx replied...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 2:37 pm
Emily.L said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 12:08 pm
Nice, creative, and uses a great metaphor. Really liked it :)
redhairCat This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 31, 2011 at 12:57 pm
Very well written! I think that I read this in the forums? You probably posted it there. Anyway, I remember reading it before. Good job!
Squeaks said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Fox, this is excellent, you've got a good taste for metaphors, there. This poem is fantastic, though melancholy. It makes you wonder who the doll is, and why they're so worried about the other person. You should consider sharing some of your other work, I'd love to read it!
Alon_Freevoice said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 5:08 am
Why is this not on the mag, hmmm???? I really like this and the metaphors are great!!
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 7:49 pm
I love this poem. It's wonderful. I sincerely hope that it makes it into the magazine!!!
Robyn97 said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 5:19 pm
It's really cool how you alternate between the good side and the bad side of being a doll. Interesting. 5/5.
ClassicS said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 2:16 pm
Good point, it would kind of be boring.
Savannah L. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 10:30 am
i love you poem, i feel like that a lot.
xXx_Fox_xXx replied...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 4:02 pm
^^ Thank you!! You feel like this? I'm a little sad to hear that, no one should be treated as a doll.
Savannah L. replied...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 10:59 am
Ya, but its kinda who I was. I'm working on it. But seems evryone sees me as a doll.
xXx_Fox_xXx replied...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 11:45 am
Perception is not but an illusion. Those who can't see past it are wothless, those who can are worth their wieght in gold. =)
Savannah L. replied...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 12:25 pm
Ya, i wish evryony could see things that way, it would be amazing.  :)
xXx_Fox_xXx replied...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 2:03 pm
^^ If the world was perfect there wouldn't be a need for writers, singers, lovers, or passion. ^^
xXx_Fox_xXx replied...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 9:23 pm
THank you all! ^^ I don't normally show my work!!! ^^ Thank you!
Erecura replied...
Oct. 24, 2011 at 8:26 pm
Amazing! Creepy...
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