Would You Believe Me?

July 15, 2011
By , Marietta, GA
In a downpour,little girl sits near a rock.
The rock has been her comfort for all of her life.
Her eyes are glazed over as if she in a trance.
Her eyes are half-closed like she is about to fall asleep.
She is waiting for her savior.
She is waiting for her lover.
She is waiting for someone to save her.
As she waits, days go by.
As she waits, the days turn into weeks.
The weeks turn into months.
The months turn into years.
That same little girl is an 8 year old child.
She glances up every once in a while, hoping to see a figure in the distance.
Every time she glances up, she regrets it immediately.
For the disappointment is too much to bear.
If I told you that this little girl was me, would you believe me?

Her heart beats slowly.
Many times, it had come close to a complete stop.
But, she refuses to give up.
She refuses to die cold and alone.
She is determined to be saved.
Although she doesn't know when, she knows, deep down, her savior will come find her.
Her heart reassures her each time disappointment consumes her.
Once, she dared to stare into the far beyond, hoping that the length of her stare will somehow lead her savior to her like a beam of light.
But, that ended as a failure.
No one came.
Her heart is trying desperately to reassure the mind that her savior will come, but the mind is doubting that statement...
She thinks that no one will come and save her.
She believes that she will die, alone, cold, with only a rock beside her.
The glances up have become less frequent.
Soon, she only glanced up if she heard a snap of the twig.
Her heart beat fast.
Her face popped a grin.
But the grin was always wiped off immediately.
No one was there.
If I told you that this child was me, would you believe me?

Years pass once more and she turns 11.
She thinks to herself that her savior must be coming.
Surely he would be coming now that she was older.
She thought this over and over
But the thoughts were thought in vain.
No one came.
Now the glances had come to a complete halt.
Even when a loud BAM comes, her head stays down, her eyes stare downwards, and tears flow down her glazed eyes.
The tears fall and don't cease until she is asleep on the rock.
The tears represent how hurt she is.
They represent the anxiety she feels.
They represent the hopelessness she feels.
She wakes up to a sharp pain in her head.
She bleeds because of a loose pebble on the rock.
The pain is numbed with the feeling of hatred the girl has upon herself.
"Maybe no one comes because I am such a worthless b****." she thinks.
"Perhaps it is because I am an unlovable human..." she murmurs.
With that she resumes with her daily ritual.
She sits.
She stares.
She hopes.
Three years pass.
She is now a 14 year old young woman.
Her jet-black hair sways in the wind.
"Happy Birthday" she whispers hatefully
She makes a wish and a prayer to an invisible force she was taught to love when she was a toddler.
"I had a family then...But, they threw me out. I must have been a horrible child" she mumbles with tearful eyes.
She knew it is no one, so she kept her head down, her eyes focused on a scurrying ant, but her heart shouted, "It is your lover! He has come to rescue you!"
As she internally scoffed at her heart's immaturity, a soft velvet voice whispered gently with a trace of urgency, "Are you okay?"
She looked up.
Her eyes widened.
It was her lover.
He had come for her.
She weeps once more.
These tears represent all of the glances she had ever had.
They represent the pain she has gone through.
They represent the happiness she feels as her lover picks her up and kisses her.
They represent everything she feels at that moment.
Her lover has come for her at last.
She leaves her rock and follows him everywhere he goes.
They are in love and can not be separated.
The once lonely and depressed little girl is now a loved and joyful woman.
If I told you that this woman is me, would you believe me?

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