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Stricken

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Strike one.
The light in the child's eyes
Diminished to a dull glow.
His rosy cheeks, streaked with tears,
Are two shades brighter than before.
"Stop that crying, boy,"
Yells a man he once called Dad.

Strike two.
A cry escapes the boy's throat
As old bruises get darker.
He closes his eyes and prays,
Wishing for a life of laughter.
"Help me, Mommy."
She's smiling with her arm raised.

Strike three.
They called him a bad child,
But he did everything they asked.
Betrayal stole his childhood.
"You know what they say,"
Youth whispers to him.
"Three strikes and you're out."



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DeusExMachina said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 11:00 am
Nice job! Really creative use of the &quot I've never seen that before!
 
Emily.L replied...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm
Well, that wasn't exactly supposed to be there! I put the actual quote (") but it changed itself...but as long as it works :)
 
DeusExMachina replied...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 4:24 pm
Oh ahah well I still liked it!
 
OceanFey This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 10:44 am
My favorite line is "youth whispers to him." Good job with the poem!
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 10:07 am
I liked the writing style and how you used three strikes. I feel bad for the kid :(
 
DaylightDarkness said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 11:17 pm
This is really dark, and in a mode I've not seen before. well done.
 
bookworm29 said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 6:01 pm
Thats so sad. Poor kid.
 
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