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There is Nothing Now

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She pulls the hair out of her head.
She cries in agony.
The pain is tearing at her heart.
But she is satisfied.

Can she not cope with reality?
Does she always fly away?
Can she never live in the present?
Does she have to be carried away?

The one who once was peaceful,
she cries out now in pain.

Never does she see
the people who adored her;

Who now sit in pain
watching all they see.

The steady mother
close at hand.

The father
ever patient.

But nothing touches this throbbing mass;
The twitching body.
Her heart is an unmovable stone.
There is nothing now.




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This article has 27 comments. Post your own!

EmmaClaire0823This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
yesterday at 6:51 pm:
I liked this a lot. It had wonderful imagery and figerative language. My only critic would be the last stanza. It doesn't flow as well as the rest of the poem. Good job!
 
samiasaskia24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
today at 9:24 am :
Thanks so much for all the feedback, I really like your ideas!
 
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LoudDreamerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 22, 2012 at 9:40 am:
This is a very strong poem, it draws you into the desperation and anxiety of the speaker, who obviously shares the mother's and the father's desperate desire to help this girl, but can't. I was really moved by the fourth stanza as well as the two last lines. Awesome job! 5/5 stars.
 
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Smiler said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 10:11 pm:
This is just great!! I totally loved it:)
 
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BrokenBree said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 6:58 pm:
This was amazing!! So beautiful! Keep writing!!
 
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SimplemelodyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 5:59 pm:
Sad yet very very good. It has a sense of desperation and the want to help but you cant. I loved it. Great job!
 
samiasaskia24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 6:15 pm :
thanks, that was my plan!
 
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inkblot13This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 12:12 pm:
This is awesome!!! It might be one of my favorites out of all of your stuff
 
samiasaskia24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 26, 2011 at 2:49 pm :
thank you so much, really!
 
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The_End said...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 9:29 pm:

What I love about this is how it doesn't really get physically graphic until the last stanza, which gives it that extra push for shock value.

I am a little confused about the possessed young woman's motivations. Does she want to be possessed (The last line of the first stanza made me wonder)?

 
samiasaskia24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Nov. 25, 2011 at 10:36 pm :
Oh, I see what you mean! How I meant it to be, was that she is satisfied by it because she is possessed, and not really her self anymore, so she has no choice in a way. I hope that helped a bit, and didn't make it more confusing! ;)
 
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Raytheraym said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 11:01 pm:
Wow, very good! Very meaningful!
 
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blitsnik said...
Jul. 29, 2011 at 1:00 am:
I really liked this one, though the repeated away in the second stanza is noticable, it doesnt take away from the driving force behind the poem. great job!
 
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CarolynQ said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 11:36 pm:
I can feel the emotion in here, very strong. I enjoyed reading this :) Check out my work sometime!
 
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silver_ice said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 3:32 pm:
Wow this piece has such an awesome foreboding feel to it! It's kinda dark but poetry is about life and life isn't always butterflies and bubbles... Awesome work :)
 
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gigi01 said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 10:53 pm:
Wow, very moving... I like how the first stanza has almost conflicting moods... Great job... sad, but excellent! 
 
samiasaskia24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 12:01 am :
Thanks, and I'll look at your stuff asap!!!!!!!
 
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Taliacat13 said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm:

Wow...um...god, what can you say after that? It's very, very good. Probably your best. (so far...)

No, I just really, really like it. The wording, the spacing, everything. (Sorry for not being very specific).

 

 
samiasaskia24This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 12:00 am :
Thanks sooooooooooooo much Talia! I will be wating for more of your work!
 
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Robyn97 said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 1:07 pm:
This gave me chills. You did a brilliant job!
 
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