As far as you can get

Every time you try you won't succeed but that doesn't mean you should quit.If you play baseball and your up to bat that doesn't mean you'll get a hit. If you play a game of bowling and go for a strike you might get stuck with a split, but sooner or later satisfactory will come when you get as far as you can get.





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Indiewriter This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 8:23 pm
I like it! It's really easy to understand and it still doesn't sound like any age person could right it. It still has meaning.
 
Love.Hate.Passion. said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 2:22 pm

Hmm..it was okay.

 

Split up your stanza's next time ,

and change satisfactory to satisfaction.

I like what you where trying to convey with your poem , and I wish it would have come across a little more clearly. Good job though :)

 
JoPepper said...
Aug. 3, 2011 at 3:52 pm
I thought this was pretty good!!!  The only thing I think needs improvement is the formatting.  Which might not be your fault, Teen Ink does weird stuff to the formatting we originally write it in.  Don't ever stop writing!!!!!!!! :D
 
TwasBrilling said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 7:54 pm
Good job...my advice would be to split it up into stanzas.
 
marissa87 said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 2:54 pm
wow! you are such a good writer! dont stop writing ever. even if it takes you awhile to get discovered dont stop! i love reading ur poems
 
Snake_Tounge said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 10:39 am

Hey,

You wanted to talk to me??? Oh yeah, and I love this one :)

 
Raytheraym said...
Aug. 1, 2011 at 2:50 pm
Good job! Very nice. "Satisfactory" should be "satisfaction" though. :)
 
akrreid said...
Jul. 30, 2011 at 1:04 pm
I really enjoyed your poem!! I liked the message. My only criticism is that it was a little difficult to read, but that would be fixed if you broke up the lines.
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Nice rhyming! :) I know TI sometimes formats the poetry messed up, but if not I would recommend you to break up the lines. It'd make it a bit easier to read. Otherwise, good job!!! `"" Thumbs up!
 
flawless200This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. replied...
Jul. 28, 2011 at 8:08 pm

thanks I'll take your advice

 

 
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