As far as you can get

July 18, 2011
By JTboiiDrama PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
JTboiiDrama PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
27 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is what it is


Every time you try you won't succeed but that doesn't mean you should quit.If you play baseball and your up to bat that doesn't mean you'll get a hit. If you play a game of bowling and go for a strike you might get stuck with a split, but sooner or later satisfactory will come when you get as far as you can get.


The author's comments:
Sometimes I try to do things and come up with ideas that doesn't get very far but one out of ten ideas make it but to get that one you can't quit.

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This article has 10 comments.


lissa_ GOLD said...
on Aug. 14 2011 at 8:23 pm
lissa_ GOLD, Salt Lake City, Utah
16 articles 0 photos 63 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything."- Suckerpunch
"The purpose of life is to be a better version of yourself."- Lucy Hale

I like it! It's really easy to understand and it still doesn't sound like any age person could right it. It still has meaning.

on Aug. 6 2011 at 2:22 pm
Love.Hate.Passion., Spring Valley, Illinois
0 articles 0 photos 356 comments

Favorite Quote:
~Hope. Faith. Love~
~Be proud of who you are.You are all unique in a different way.~
~I WILL NOT fade into oblivion , and become less than
a distant memory.~

Hmm..it was okay.

 

Split up your stanza's next time ,

and change satisfactory to satisfaction.

I like what you where trying to convey with your poem , and I wish it would have come across a little more clearly. Good job though :)


on Aug. 3 2011 at 3:52 pm
JoPepper PLATINUM, Annandale, Virginia
35 articles 0 photos 782 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Freedom is the ability to not care what the other person thinks."

"Not all those who wander are lost" --JRR Tolkien

"When you are listening to music it is better to cover your eyes than your ears." --Jose' Bergamin

I thought this was pretty good!!!  The only thing I think needs improvement is the formatting.  Which might not be your fault, Teen Ink does weird stuff to the formatting we originally write it in.  Don't ever stop writing!!!!!!!! :D

on Aug. 2 2011 at 7:54 pm
TwasBrilling BRONZE, Staunton, Va, Virginia
4 articles 0 photos 79 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The owl of Minerva spreads its wings only with the falling of the dusk" -H.W. Hegel

"Words are our most inexhaustable source of magic' -Albus Dumbledore

Good job...my advice would be to split it up into stanzas.

on Aug. 2 2011 at 2:54 pm
marissa87 BRONZE, Glenmoore, Pennsylvania
4 articles 3 photos 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
what is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular

wow! you are such a good writer! dont stop writing ever. even if it takes you awhile to get discovered dont stop! i love reading ur poems

wasps said...
on Aug. 2 2011 at 10:39 am
wasps, Other
0 articles 0 photos 153 comments

Hey,

You wanted to talk to me??? Oh yeah, and I love this one :)


on Aug. 1 2011 at 2:50 pm
Raytheraym PLATINUM, Belton, Missouri
47 articles 35 photos 460 comments
Good job! Very nice. "Satisfactory" should be "satisfaction" though. :)

akrreid BRONZE said...
on Jul. 30 2011 at 1:04 pm
akrreid BRONZE, Wexford, Pennsylvania
2 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I never said it was going to be easy--I said it was going to be worth it."

I really enjoyed your poem!! I liked the message. My only criticism is that it was a little difficult to read, but that would be fixed if you broke up the lines.

on Jul. 28 2011 at 8:08 pm
JTboiiDrama PLATINUM, Chicago, Illinois
27 articles 0 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is what it is

thanks I'll take your advice

 


on Jul. 27 2011 at 5:39 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

Nice rhyming! :) I know TI sometimes formats the poetry messed up, but if not I would recommend you to break up the lines. It'd make it a bit easier to read. Otherwise, good job!!! `"" Thumbs up!


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