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Stuck and Unstuck Love This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

We were two birds stuck
On the wire between the telephone poles.
We were perched
Just far enough so our wings could not touch.
Sparks danced between us,
Sizzling on the electrical wire,
And all we could do was gaze
Into each other's beady eyes.

But when we did,
We felt like we were soaring
Above rooftops, and treetops, circling each other
But we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our feet gripped and could not ungrip
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

We looked at each other,
Sorrow in our black eyes
As we began to realize
There was no point in wasting time.
For we were two birds stuck in love
On the wire between the telephone poles.
Our talons grew tired from gripping,
Our hearts became weary of wishing,
And we little by little accepted the heartrending truth.
We could not scoot closer,
We could not shift farther.

Until one day,
A gusty wind came
And toppled our telephone poles
That had once held us in place.
We could stretch our talons.
We were two birds unstuck and free.

I flew and flew and flew away,
So shocked that I was unhandcuffed
Until I found you flew another way.
And it was with the freedom that the
wind finally gave
That I lost the love I had always meant
to save.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.




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ChrisJThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 4, 2013 at 4:29 pm:
Beautiful. Whimsical. Delightful. And rather tragic, all rolled up into one. This is a poem that I will not forget, really great job, and congrats on the print! Oh, and do you have any advice to give on how to write Free Verses as well as you do???
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 5, 2013 at 1:25 am :
Thank you so much! I generally get free verse from a single line I think up in my head. The line in this particular poem was the "we were two birds stuck..." one.  I think as long as you start with a strong line, you can go from there! I like to think my free verse is just simply storytelling with a bit of a rhythm. I use a lot of imagery and some repetition. Those are always good!! :) I honestly don't know a correct way to write free verse. I write free verse because there ... (more »)
 
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StrangeJade This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 27, 2012 at 7:34 pm:
Metaphors are easy to get wrong, but you actually pulled this off very well. :) Really my only critique would be that the last two lines rhyme, which is a bit jarring because the rest of the poem is free verse (and I do think that free verse suits this poem). Otherwise, it's great! Keep it up. ^^
 
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LongLazyDays55 said...
Jul. 16, 2012 at 3:04 pm:
Hi, LongLazyDays55's here. :) :) Your poem's are amazing! Loved it! Congrats on getting published and getting an Editor's Choice! :D You should write a book! 5 stars for me! :)
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 16, 2012 at 5:13 pm :
Thank you so much! You're so nice! It means so much to me that you liked it! :)
 
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Lexie96 said...
Oct. 28, 2011 at 10:13 pm:
Yeah, I can't help but agree, this really should be published, it's great. Congrats on Editor's choice, though, that's great! This was a really good poem... and if you wouldn't mind I would love it if you could check out mine some time.
 
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leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Sept. 13, 2011 at 2:15 pm:
Lol if you scroll down, you'll see that ve already read this XD. But I still think it is amazing, and again, nice job on getting the editors choice mark. I definitely hink it should be published. 5/5
 
An-eloquent-leafThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:24 pm :
It funny, I was looking on my profile, and noticed that two pieces on my favorites list got published (before it was just one), and I was like, whoa! :D I'm glad you finally got published, you definitely deserve it ^_^
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jan. 29, 2012 at 7:58 pm :
Thank you! Yeah, I hadn't been on TI for a while and then i got an email saying they were going to publish it! it was really cool! It's supposed to be in febriary's issue. I'm excited to see it in print
 
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Regs_the_Shorty said...
Sept. 10, 2011 at 5:52 pm:
It is absolutely great I loved it 5 stars!!!
 
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IamtheshyStargirl said...
Sept. 1, 2011 at 7:23 pm:
Oh wow, beautifully written, you are very talented :)
 
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backyardheart said...
Aug. 26, 2011 at 8:06 pm:
Absolutely wonderful. The bird metaphor was great- and I especially enjoyed the last stanza, as well as the repetition of "On the wire between the telephone poles."
 
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little-miss-mistakes said...
Aug. 21, 2011 at 10:23 pm:
i love this!! its sweet and sad at the same time... and i have been in a really relatable circumstance that really hits home!!! i especially love the ending
 
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BeLoveTodayThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:29 am:
This poem was very sweet, and I enjoyed your use of bird imagery. My favorite lines were, "Our talons grew tired from gripping, Our hearts became weary of wishing." Also, I liked the realization in the last stanza, beginnng with, "I flew and flew and flew away." I would consider looking for a synonym for un-handcuffed though, because it sort of breaks up the rhythm. Overall, very nice poem! Thanks for sharing!
 
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silver_ice said...
Aug. 14, 2011 at 9:58 pm:
iiiii like it! it's very sweet yet kinda sad at the same time :)
 
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last-impression said...
Aug. 11, 2011 at 7:39 pm:
My goodness, you're just an amazing writer. 
 
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HannSawyer15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 4:54 pm:
Imagery is really your thing! And you're great at it! Honestly I don't know why Teen Ink hasn't published you yet because you are an AMAZING writer! Simply amazing.
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 6:59 pm :
Thanks for saying that. it means so much!!! i wish i could get into the magazine, but i doubt i will with any of the works i have now because they are not the usual teenager things that the mag is looking for, i feel. :( if you know what i mean... thanks for reading my poems!
 
HannSawyer15 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 7:01 pm :
I know what you mean... and yeah I understand but you should be the acception to that rule! Lol you're such a great writer!
 
thetruthawaits94 This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Aug. 10, 2011 at 7:11 pm :
i mean i am a teenager! lol, but i mean that i don't write about drugs, relationships (not exactly), or dark thoughts, wanting freedom... that kind of stuff that they are looking for. That's not my thing, really, unfortunately. i can't force myself to write like that so i will continue to write for myself first and then others second! maybe someday i'll get in...fingers crossed :) 
 
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