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Whispers of the Northern Wind

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A wicked embrace of ice twists through the night, breaking through every inch of warmth in the forest and coats it with a sheet of fresh, substantial snow that quickly thickens on the hard ground. The stars, dim above the many pine trees, swarm the moon, giving off a bright white glow that echoes the snowy ground. They quietly rest atop the inclement weather as the mournful breeze moans around the shivering trees. The water that is frozen over secretly trickles underneath the ice, its unyielding pursuer; as an aura of extreme sadness.
This is the North.



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LoudDreamerThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Nov. 28, 2011 at 4:45 pm
Kailey4, do you remember when I said that I don't really think I would bother to comment on your work because I'm not really a fan of free verse? Consider me humbled. I'm sorry. This imagry is amazing! I guess I needed to be put in my place at one point or another. Five Stars!
 
white_chocolate97 said...
Aug. 2, 2011 at 1:37 am
This was so descriptive!! I really liked the imagery of this poem!
 
WhitleySienna said...
Jul. 26, 2011 at 11:57 pm
Wow I really like this!! It feels just like winter!!
 
Like-a-Skyscraper said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 10:57 pm
Oh so descriptive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How grand ^^
 
Bgeek24 said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 6:18 pm
I can really picture this. It is very good. *****
 
Midnight_Hum This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. replied...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 6:54 pm
I like your descriptions but I think that the piece would have been more effective if you had spaced it out instead of leaving it one paragraph.  I think the spaces would have added a sense of pause that would have been nice and worked really well.
 
Hazel-daisy This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 24, 2011 at 3:00 pm
i really like this! its so beautiful and i really love the imagery! good job :)
 
kayleechyanne said...
Jul. 23, 2011 at 12:27 pm

wow. imagery was great!

it would also be really cool if you do The North with a metaphor with something to kinda tie it in and make it longer but it's good just how it is! :)

 
NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 10:47 pm
Wow, love your imagery and the flow of the poem. Great ending line!
 
BalletGirl98 said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 9:45 pm
Very good. I could picture it!
 
CarrieAnn13 said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 7:51 pm
Beautiful, just beautiful!  You have great imagery here. :)
 
WritingSpasms said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 6:53 pm
I really liked it! The details were beautifully written. Also the last line finished it perfectly. Keep writing :)
 
.Izzy.This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Beautiful. The imagery was fantastic! And the last line was the perfect way to end it.
 
leafyThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 2:16 pm
nice microfiction! great imagery and the mood is great. keep up the nice work!
 
bltsoccerchick said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 12:48 pm
Beautifully written. Great job!!
 
Kailey4This teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 11:26 am
Thank you all so much!! All the comments were very helpful:)
 
DarkenRose said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 11:16 am
Amazing! I could imagine it nicely and I love the descripton
 
Delictious said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 11:00 am
Loved the word choice and the description! I could really see everything in my head, which is a very good thing when you write! :D I love the last line, it just ends it on a very simple note and makes you happy. IDK why it does, I just liked the last line, a bit different style from all the rest of the piece.
 
DoubleN said...
Jul. 22, 2011 at 10:18 am
wow, this is really great :) i could see a picture in  my head! wonderful job!
 
DaylightDarkness said...
Jul. 21, 2011 at 11:22 pm
I agree with Garnet, this is beautiful. In response to your question, no changes in wording, or length, but maybe some spaces? it seemed kinda dense. Amazing!
 
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