there is just this pain in my chest that cant be fixed with surgery or anything. the pain is too unbearable. i hate that the pain is actually physical now. the scars on my thigh spell out your name. the 3 painkillers i took when i was fine symobolize the 3 letters of a action i do when i think of you. CRY. the 8 pills i take daily because of my problems spell out ” i love you”. no matter what happens i will always take pain with your face so i can be immune to the pain and the way the face would melt my heart. if i have pain while looking at you then it wont hurt everytime i see your face. I cant deal with the pain of your beauty and personality so i try to get rid of it. and yes that was me on anon. so ignore my existance fully you know what I DON’T CARE ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU DIDNT CARE ABOUT ME. I try to impress you but you just shrug. Every day i write at least 4 page long poems about you and i cry at least 1 hour of tears i cut your name on my leg but now im done cutting myself because i know i dont want to love someone who doesnt care. You don’t realize how enclosed you are in your little social circle. you hardly talk to anyone outside it. maybe if you did people wouldnt think you were a b**** because i know so many people who think you are but i don’t say anything because deep inside i think you wish you could go outide your safty zone but somthing is stopping you. so you know what, im just gonna think of you as another one of my classmates you dont mean so much anymore because i know i have better things to do than mope around about impossible love. SO IM JUST DONE. figure out who unfollowed you overnight because i don’t wanna see your face unless i have to. just live your life. your not the most important thing to me anymore because you destroyed me without knowing it. i just cant live loving someone who will never ask me even to hang out. you said we should hang out in SEPTEMBER ITS APRIL we havent hung out and you know what maybe if you ask i will hang but maybe not.
I can't deal with you
July 11, 2011