June 27, 2011
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What does it mean to "accept" somebody?
Do you have to approve?
Do you have to agree with them?
If you're being yourself, are you really a disappointment?
When you cover what you're good at for so long,
will you be accepted when you show it?
I get into trouble when I make a choice opposite of what they want.
A different college,
the clothes I wear,
my friends.
If i do what they want,
I could have done it better.
My entire life is a contradiction.
But it's pointless to tell them,
to help them understand,
help them accept me for just me.
No one ever will.
The problem child,
the musically-inclined one,
he disappointment.
I will never be exactly what they want.
I will never be the perfect child,
Straight A's,
I will always be judged.
And I will always lose the fight.
Being myself is not good enough.
And it never will be.
So i apologize.
I apologize for picking the University in Nacogdoches,
instead of Texas Tech,
for picking the cello instead of choir,
for writing poetry when i could be doing extra work.
And I apologize for no one being able to accept me,
to show some empathy,
and for thinking of me as a disappointment.

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