i throw it into the sea

escaping my darkest secrets


letting go of my past



screaming at myself for all the hatred inside of myself




crying at the broken soul to become whole again
but none of that happens for me

it waits


builds



creeps into my thoughts taking over every breath i take

every move i make


every inkling at saving my life
i throw it out to sea

hoping to be relieved


wanting to never see darkness again



praying to be ok again
but none of that happens for me

the ridicule continues



the head hanging doesn't stop



invisibility welcomes me back home like a long lost friend that never left
i throw it out to sea

every caring thought


every loving memory



every ounce of life left in me
this happens for me

leaving me empty


alone



cold




dead
dead
dead
dead
i wait by the sea

for an answer


minutes



hours




days





months






and now years

i turn away


leaving it at the sea



walking away from every pain




letting go of every tear brought to my eyes





erasing every memory

running under god's skies


taking off my mask



scars




bones





underneath it all






finally see me, my soul







alone

no response


just life



and all of my soul




running free from the sea





waiting






alone