Terrified.

July 4, 2011
By , Fairfax Station, VA
Baby steps
I take
one assignment
just a paragraph
you don't have to
hand it in,
I tell
myself.
I let my true
mind free
I tell it
go on, show off
and center stage
with CAPITAL A's
I'm home.
Giant steps
tire rolls
taking me
away from here
I can feel
that coming back
because my baby steps
feel huge.
In a cal-de-sac
they taught us games
like red light green light
games
like mother may I
and now
I'm wondering
if they were storing up
like acorns in squirrels cheeks
if they were checking all their bases
for the possibility of this moment
I'm here,
that red light
tells me I must stop.
You're not beside me
for a quick kiss
the phone is off
so they can't track me down
I'm leaving
with all the gas
my tutored hands
those with pencil lead smashed into them
could muster
and I can't return
because the daunting
forthcoming
future
is hundreds of baby steps away
and though mother said I may
even said I could
I stare at the paper
ignore the reality
and the red light
lasts forever.





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