Your first day of your last year. You walk in the doors and are hoping not to see him. The one who had fun with your heart during summer. You've told your friends you didn't care and how you never took him seriously to begin with. So far no sign of him... Its lunch and you've gone all day without running in to him, by now you're not even thinking about him. You walk out of the lunch line carrying your tray..You feel confident, just the way you felt before summer started. In the middle of waving hello to a friend across the lunch area, he crosses your range of vision. Your waving hand stops and goes down to your side slowly.. you no longer feel confident and your heart is beating so fast you feel its thud in your ears. Your cheeks feel hot and there's a knot in your throat. You try to swallow it and instead make a distressed expression. He notices and lifts a side of his mouth, that crooked smile that you remember so well.. You remember laying with him on a park table...one of those late summer nights where the air still feels warm. You guys are looking up at the stars and his arm is under your head as a pillow. You guys are listening to your ipod, sharing a pair of earphones. The memory is so clear, you don't know if the person from that night or the person who shared a drunk kiss with someone else is standing before you.. You try to smile but his smile has already turned down into an apologetic expression.. He turns to his friends and walks away. The distance between the two of you keeps increasing with every step he takes and you don't know whether to walk to your friends or walk after him.. you miss him so much but you don't know what to do.. You walk over to your friends and think 'what the hell just happened..'
A Summer's Heartache
July 6, 2011