i let myself fall into a lie. i try to smile and seem alright, but you can only fake being happy for so long. i still remember the day that you took my breath away.. you looked into my eyes, and i had butterflies with everything you said to me. i felt something that i had never felt with anyone before. you made me feel special, little did i know that you made her feel the exact same way. i was so happy.. until that day you told me you didnt care anymore. my heart sank into my stomach. i started stayng up later and later every night. crying constantly, feeling so alone.. i felt as i had no one to talk to. i felt so worthless, un-cared for, and un-appreciated. i continued to get worse and worse.. finnaly, i got where i thought about pickin up my knife, and cutting. i did it once, i thought i would never do it again.. but as time goes on , i dont know any other way to distract myself from you. the emotional pain is almost to much pain to bear. i know, people say its silly for someone to feel this way over a boy.. but, when you love someone and they dont care anymore.. it's hard to let go..
the way she feels.
July 12, 2011