The Ocean Waves to Me

July 10, 2011
By thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.


The ocean waves to me saying,
Hello, do you like the blues?
I bob my head to the beat saying,
Yes, I do do do do do.
I see palm trees swayin’ along
To the beach’s traditional song saying,
We like those tunes,
Too too too too too.

The cliffs rock the seashore
Asking us if we want to hear more
We bang our heads to the foamy strums
As tides crash onto the rock stars’ drums
The footprints left in the sand
Tap their toes along with band saying,
Oh yeah, Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo.

At the end of the day I was sad to see
The high tides of groupies leave
The spotlight was heading down beneath
The horizon, but that doesn’t mean
That the ocean’s dramatic melodies
Will ever stop playing under the sea

Before I go home from this harmonious place
I remember to put a few sand dollars into the musicians’ case
Making sure they know how much I appreciate
The talented entertainment of this date
I scoop up all the notes that I’ve heard today
Put them inside to stowaway
‘Til they come uncorked and start to play
Message for the next one who’s come to get away saying,
Now the ocean’s song is for
You you you you you.


The author's comments:
A day at the beach and I could not help but feel a rhythm. I got inspired by the sounds. Also, i put tons of play-on-words into this poem. I hope you can catch the double-meanings of words. I hope you enjoy this light-hearted poem!

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This article has 48 comments.


on Aug. 21 2013 at 5:12 pm
LaChouette GOLD, Mount Vernon, New York
12 articles 0 photos 146 comments

Favorite Quote:
“And then there are the times when the wolves are silent and the moon is howling.”
- George Carlin

I really like this! It's the kind of piece that just makes me smile. Awesome job!

on Aug. 4 2013 at 4:32 pm
ChrisJ PLATINUM, Rochester, New York
24 articles 15 photos 289 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.”
- Martin Luther King Jr.

Awesome! I loved all of the water, sand, and rock comparisons made here and the wonderful imagery. Definitely a favorite of mine, outstandig job!

on May. 12 2012 at 5:18 pm
snowleopard100 PLATINUM, New York City, New York
33 articles 1 photo 80 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, but I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

No wonder it was published-the ending is particularly strong; "sandollars in a musician's case," love it!!!! Awesome Job.

on Apr. 23 2012 at 12:18 am
JessicaQ PLATINUM, North Vancouver, British Columbia, Other
23 articles 5 photos 28 comments
impressive poem! makes me feel calm :D

on Mar. 26 2012 at 10:42 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

thank you very much! :)

Ariya GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2012 at 7:37 pm
Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
12 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
-Alfred (Batman Begins)

I like how calm and harmonious this piece is. Just reading it makes me happy.

Ariya GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2012 at 7:37 pm
Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
12 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
-Alfred (Batman Begins)

I like how calm and harmonious this piece is. Just reading it makes me happy.

Ariya GOLD said...
on Mar. 26 2012 at 7:37 pm
Ariya GOLD, Charleston, South Carolina
12 articles 1 photo 25 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
-Alfred (Batman Begins)

I like how calm and harmonious this piece is. Just reading it makes me happy.

on Mar. 23 2012 at 8:58 pm
LittleSully GOLD, Elmwood Park, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The course of true love never did love smooth." William Shakespeare

Never stop writing! I've read some of your other poems and they're all brilliant.

on Sep. 15 2011 at 4:14 pm
Branden Navedo SILVER, Oklahoma, Maryland
5 articles 0 photos 17 comments
I think what I really enjoyed here were the double meanings. Although the repetition was a bit bland, I still like it a lot.

on Sep. 13 2011 at 8:52 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

aw man. i hate it when i do that. Exclamation points gone crazy!!!!!! (referring to my reply with like a bajillion of them in there) Oh, well. lol :D

on Sep. 13 2011 at 8:50 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

well the line is needed because by putting money into the musician's case (the ocean as the musician), I was thanking them for the entertainment they gave to me on this day at the beach. it isn't a romantic date just a date as in 9/13/11! Didn't mean to confuse! :)  i agree, it does stop the rhythm ! I will have to find a different way to say what i want to say to make it flow better! i'll think on it for sure and fix that! thank you for reading! i really like reading yours! :)

KyleG SILVER said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 8:33 pm
KyleG SILVER, Millville, New Jersey
9 articles 0 photos 19 comments

This is an extremely impressive poem. It's much more difficult to create a sense of importance and depth in a cheerful poem like this, but you succeeded admirably. 

In terms of critiques:

1) The line "The talented entertainment of this date" stopped me when I was reading. The rhyme felt forced because "of this date" didn't quite seem to fit. I'm sure with your talent you can come up with a replacement or rearrangement of that line that might fit more nicely. As it stands the only value of the line is to provide a rhyme and to possibly suggest that are on a romantic date (though this would seem out of place if it was your intended meaning as there is no previous indication of a romantic situation). You could take advantage of that line to add as much meaning to the poem as each of your other lines did. 

Again, loved this poem. And thank you for reading my poem "Ocean Heart."

 


leafy said...
on Sep. 13 2011 at 2:12 pm
leafy, City, Other
0 articles 0 photos 682 comments

Favorite Quote:
Gil: I would like you to read my novel and get your opinion. 
Ernest Hemingway: I hate it. 
Gil: You haven't even read it yet. 
Ernest Hemingway: If it's bad, I'll hate it. If it's good, then I'll be envious and hate it even more. You don't want the opinion of another writer. 

I love this poem, and yeah, I got the double meanings. Nce job getting an editors choice mark on it! 5/5

on Sep. 10 2011 at 5:48 pm
Regs_the_Shorty GOLD, Frankfort, Illinois
13 articles 0 photos 129 comments

Favorite Quote:
There are people who finish what they start and.....

I really liked this but it made me mad to see how this isn't in the magazine because this is brilliant!

on Aug. 20 2011 at 1:11 pm
silver_ice BRONZE, Wheelock, Texas
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
Imagination is the eye of the soul.
-Joseph Joubert
and
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-Mark Twain ;P

u are an amazing poet! the play on words were perfect :) and why isn't this in the magazine???

on Aug. 17 2011 at 3:59 pm
thetruthawaits94 SILVER, Duncan, Oklahoma
9 articles 0 photos 353 comments

Favorite Quote:
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

okay thank you very much for the advice and for just reading it!!! ;)

on Aug. 17 2011 at 8:08 am
BeLoveToday PLATINUM, Manchester, New Hampshire
24 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
-Nelson Mandela

"Leave your fear of love behind,
let your dreaming be your guide.
If you seek, than you shall find."
-"Dreamer," by Elizaveta

This poem uses such a clever metaphor, and I can really hear the ocean in your words! Love the refrain, but perhaps try to look a little more at the meter. Even though this is free verse, a consistent meter is easier to read. Also, I loved the ending,"Now the ocean's song is for You you you you you." Beautiful! Thanks for sharing!  

on Aug. 13 2011 at 5:22 pm
savetheplanet PLATINUM, Anaheim, California
45 articles 9 photos 565 comments

Favorite Quote:
It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I really liked this, I liked the repeating lines especially.

on Aug. 10 2011 at 4:51 pm
HannSawyer15 BRONZE, North Brunswick, New Jersey
1 article 0 photos 108 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I say... lets speak it. Lets fight it. Lets write it. There's nothing to hold on to if it's already gone."

I loved how you wrote in such a playful way! Awesome job... and really unique. I love your writing style!


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