July 9, 2011
"I confess to almighty God, and to you, my brothers and sisters, that I have sinned through my own fault, in my thoughts and….."
Now wait a minute
What did I just even say?
That's pretty serious
Quickly I scan the pews
Stealthily (If I do say so myself)
Searching meticulously
For any kind of reaction
Are you serious?!
People should be dropping to their knees
Passionately exulting praise to the heavens
Crying out in relief as their souls are wiped clean
But no
Tiffany should have collapsed by now
Eyes streaming as mascara streaks across her face
As she whole heartedly confesses her vanity
Never to go back to her old ways
Out into the world to be a better person
Instead my mind is consumed with the insufferable, unceasing clicking sound of her compact mirror
Open Close Open Close!
the nerve of some people…..
And Carter
Mustn't forget him
The not so little piglet
Crunch Munch Munch!
I nearly barf at the sight of
saliva coated Cheerio gobs in his gaping mouth
The gluttonous blob is quite a sight to see
If he could only cease eating for ten minutes
Or I dare say close his mouth
But that I'm afraid will forever remain a unrealized dream
Seeing as there will be no parental intervention
As his mother is a bit round around the edges
And his father proudly exhibits a multitude of chins
I truly simply cannot stand some people
I mean really
Here they are in church no less
It's as if what they are saying has absolutely no impact on them
Mechanically they continue to recite the Penitential Rite
Eyes dull
Voices sickeningly monotonous
I look away in utter disgust
But then again who am I to judge?

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