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Farewell Featherbrain

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You pretend you are so very benign.
Can you hear me, you backward bovine?
You're just standing there chewing cud,
Standing in your own filth and mud.

Why can't you move on to a greener field?
A place with a bit more vegetable yield.
Of course there would be an abundance of climbing rocks.
Some would be as hard as your head, austere ox.

Then it would be just me and my shadow.
Free to be any range of bronco or burro.
Peace I will have for my psyche,
Away from you, primitive donkey.



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lilmartz This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 8:10 pm
This is a really good poem! You have an amazing vocabulary and did a great job rhyming! My only critique, is that I didn't really love the last 2 lines. I keep rereading them and something about the way it sounds doesn't seem to flow right or make for a good ending. Other than that, I think this poem is amazing! Nice work :)
 
cebomar9 replied...
Jan. 10, 2012 at 12:06 pm
i loved this haha it made me laugh
 
hiddentears said...
Jan. 8, 2012 at 4:09 am
Haha. It's a great poem:).
 
CatchThis teenager is a 'regular' and has contributed a lot of work, comments and/or forum posts, and has received many votes and high ratings over a long period of time. said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 4:28 pm
Wow this is funny my FFA techer would say you are crazy and he would probably laugh till he started to cry.
 
Illuminatus said...
Jan. 6, 2012 at 3:20 am
hahahaha .... this one made me laugh ! it's nice .... Funny and Nice .
 
sakina said...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 1:47 am
Hi!zin..:)How r you feeling..?U've not been much on TI...:(And it's quite boring...Then wat the Dr
 
sakina replied...
Jul. 17, 2011 at 1:48 am
And wat did the Dr. say..???:)
 
mwlover32 said...
Jul. 14, 2011 at 12:56 am
(thought i would return the favor)
i like it! to me, some of the rhymes didn't really make sense, like you were trying to force them to rhyme. but i like where you got your inspiration.(:
 
Zinaidia replied...
Jul. 19, 2011 at 2:17 am
Sorry Sakina, I have been in and out of the stupid hospital :( stupid doctors don't know what they are doing! lol anyways, I have been writing a bunch, just not been able to post it. It's all on hospital napkins haha!
 
Viridian replied...
Jan. 9, 2012 at 7:58 pm
Haha funny poem. I like how you for your inspiration sort of cut below the surface of things.
 
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