Humanity?

July 8, 2011
By Neera BRONZE, London, Other
Neera BRONZE, London, Other
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Drip. Drip. Drip.
To the world,
Her face is covered
In blood diamonds.
I am the mine,
Or so she claims.

The blood, is the
Remnant of her dessert.
I am falling from her
Cold, reptilian eyes.
And you are fooled,
By her crocodile tears.

Each scale on her back,
A proud achievement.
One for every time she
Consumes. And tricks you.
Her body, sewn together,
With the thread of lives.

The author's comments:
This was inspired by the darker aspects of human nature, the individuals whose humanity, we find ourselves questioning.

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This article has 2 comments.


Neera BRONZE said...
on Jul. 12 2011 at 3:21 pm
Neera BRONZE, London, Other
4 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Thank-you :)  Yes, I didn't really spend much time editing this, just a kind of rough version, but I'll certainly look into making those changes.

on Jul. 12 2011 at 2:30 pm
BrightBurningCampeador PLATINUM, Portland, Oregon
42 articles 11 photos 333 comments

I absolutely love this poem, but I again noticed some things that might be changed to make it even better. And again my main advice is to rearrange some of the lines. Like the first two lines of the second verse. And the third and fourth in the last verse.

But, these changes aren't really necesary. This poem is practicaly perfect already, and the changes I suggest won't make it completely perfect.



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