My Thoughts

July 6, 2011
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I would die if I could
Just to escape this
Endless pain
Just to escape the
Constant pounding in my head
Anything to stop
My quickly beating heart
To feel nothing inside my head
To escape, to be no more
But I don’t want to quit
I want to win
But I don’t know the
Rules of this stupid game
I unwillingly started to play
Let the blood trickle
Down porcelain flesh
To fade in and out of reality
But stay alive
Keep moving forward
In a life shrouded with pain and tears
Blood and stress
Anything to walk
With my head held high
Scars faded to a silvery web
Gone from view
Anything to breathe a breath
And not feel pain
To not want to die everyday
To be glad that I woke up this morning
Although secretly,
I wish my heart had stopped
In the middle of the night
Just to stop the thoughts
That traps me
Anything to cut
Through my life
Through my skin
Ending pain
Anything to smile
Without tears brimming over
Without sighing
Without my body twisted in pain
To live

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