Demons Continued

July 5, 2011
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Life what is it? is it a time when you are on this planet? or is it a time of torture and suffering? yet could it just be a waiting room for Dr. death. In my human and demon eyes, the answer would be all 3, but right now it is just torture and suffering. Having both sides of yourself pulling your body apart, but now some questions have been answered.
My demon side and human side have gotten answers from the one I had feelings for, but not all questions were answered and some were not even asked, and that's because of one of the human flaws and that is fear. Fear effects all humans and even part humans as myself. fear of rejection, fear of being said no, fear of death, fear of the future, all these fears equal to is being a coward. when the questions were asked my human side was being a coward which will just lead to the one thing that kills a human and that is REGRET. while my demon side felt only two fears which were the fear of the answer to my question and the fear of not controling me, he lead my body so the pain of being a coward would not be so bad.
I began to let my demon side control me and while I was controled I learned that no matter what you will end up regretting the past which will tear away a regular man. The demon did not want that to happen, and neither do I but will following down this dark path bring me to happiness, I feel as though I can trust my dark side as if the demon is showing understanding to my situation. But then what of my other path, the path that should bring me happiness, the path that will bring me to the girl I have feelings for what about that path is it just a lie. Is that path a false happiness or are there no paths that will lead to me getting what i desire.
Even now as I type these words, I realize that the one question that really matters must be asked by myself or I get an answer without asking the question. Why is there no simple path in life where when you take that path there will be no regrets, where there will be no fear, where you are not torn between your humanity and your demon side. I live now in the worst torture ever, where you want to do something about it but then fear arrives and throws you back into the middle of this this game of tug-o-war called life and because of that I think why couldn't it just be as simple as Dr. deaths waiting room.

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