Endurance

Mom I wanna grow up
Life
a game of
endurance
can you make it
through
rumor filled problematic
teen years
what about the early
stages
of adulthood
college
the path to your
career and parties then
comes marriage
along with a
house, car, and a few kids
full time job
that is
then comes the hardest
part
saying goodbye to the
honey bears
and so comes the
pain
of an empty nest
now it's old age
the next step
is death
and you sure you're ready
honey bear

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Ha-5-rika said...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 10:52 am:

It is a really strong and good poem. the best I've read so far.

musicispassion replied...
Aug. 6, 2011 at 2:19 pm :

thank u :P

Batmans_other_lover replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 12:50 pm :

great job love it ... my favoritew onee!

musicispassion replied...
Aug. 9, 2011 at 1:47 pm :

thanks lizard :P

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Zildj said...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 1:18 am:

I'm going to go so far as to say this is the best poem I've read of yours. The last line really made a huge difference. Great build up and ending.

musicispassion replied...
Aug. 5, 2011 at 1:22 am :

thanks i actually thought this was one of my weakest poems

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OfTheUnknown said...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm:

This is soo good. Its definitely one of the best poems I've read from you. I love the way that you put life into one poem. You pretty much do that with all of your poems but this one I think is right on the dot. Fantastic work... again. lol :)

musicispassion replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 1:10 pm :

thanks miss you i'm gonna look a ur stuff

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Megan.J.B said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 9:34 pm:

Found it enjoyable! The theme was nice, but I didn't find it very pleasent to the ears. The flow could've been fixed in some places

musicispassion replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 1:06 pm :

I know it's not my best poem but thanks

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qui133 said...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 12:26 pm:

a sad and almost accusitory veiw of the average person's life. this is a good poem, but it is not incredibly original--i hate to sound condensendng, sorry. its just that you have captured so perfectly the essence of what we as a speices need to break out of: a dismal victem-mentality that traps us into thinking things happen to us, and not the other way around. we need to be the change, not pray for it, if you know what i mean. we need to make things happen ourselves and stop conforming to the e... (more »)

musicispassion replied...
Jul. 9, 2011 at 12:41 pm :

i know it's not original but i was watching a tv commercial and this sort of happened thanks for the feedback

qui133 replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 11:42 am :

commercials are a wonderful source of inspiration when you want to write something depressing. not ment as an insult, of course. :P

musicispassion replied...
Jul. 10, 2011 at 1:08 pm :

don't u think the best writinf comes from nothing u know random thought or staring at the ceiling

qui133 replied...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 9:09 pm :

yes, of course :) but i try not to think depressing thoughts. so when i want to find depressing insperation without getting depressed myself, i just look at our capitalistic culture, which is aptly demonstrated in the unending stream of insulting induendo and crisp white images or people who don't look real and write about that.

qui133 replied...
Jul. 11, 2011 at 9:09 pm :

>:)