July 1, 2011
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He's been accused so harshly
And called such deadfall words
I dare not breath repeat
I shuddered for him then
I blush for him now
Partially because
I never knew
And for the rest
That I cannot
In all honestly defend him
With aching heart
And unwilling lips
I finally
Was forced to admit
That with all do reason
From this narrow minded world
I've know foundation
Save personal opinion
For my complete and confident
Faith in him
Yes... He's had his past
Haven't we all?
Why only I
To believe he's sufferd for it
Or that his heart is softened?
I do not have to see
In black and white print
That he's had his time
Of chastened regret
Which of us
Claims such purity of heart
That our thoughts are never trodden
With habits long disposed of?
At times
I've envied him
For he lives i the world
Of my unforgotten dream
To the point of bitter resentment
But for a moment born
My feelings toward him
Reflected the darker
Side of me
Till in remembrance of his gentle
Almost disapproving face
And the times he genuinely smiled
My heart grew sick
And heavy from shame within
Twice I wept it empty
To find it full again
Then pushed those awful
Thoughts behind me
As one of my many sins
His talent to smooth over
The rough of much
And care in the simplest way
Have inspired me to try harder
Than my very best
To achieve in equal standard
That precious gift
Of knowing when
Or whether to say
Of how and why
To say it
His words do not offend
Though they may provoke a laugh
His manners adjust
To fit each situation
But they do not insult
Nor are they pretended
For he has an understanding
Of most every human feeling

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Aderes18 said...
Jul. 7, 2011 at 10:07 pm

I relate to this poem very deeply and intimately. It reminds me of someone I admire and adore. Even though sometimes it doesn't make sense and sometimes the lines seem random, it's still a great poem.

Great job, :)  

S M Wells replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 9:15 am
Why thank you.  That means a lot; because even though it is nearly two years old, and evryone says my poetry has improved enough that I shold drop the original epirements, I alwase liked this one. But would you mind explaining what seemed jumbeled about it? I might try t ofix that.
Aderes18 replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 7:07 pm

I dare not breath repeat 

(get rid of breath, just put repeat)is an example. 

That with all do reason
From this narrow minded world
I've know foundation(this just doesn't make sense to me) 

Than my very best 

(Instead of than, I think you mean try) 

For he lives i the world(get rid of i) 

To believe he's sufferd for it


What you really need in this poem is stanzas and some sp... (more »)

Aderes18 replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Other than that, it's a great poem. In fact, this poem reminds me of some of the greatest poems I hsve ever read. :) 

Word of advice: If you want to get rid of your typos, use 

I swear, if you fix all the mistakes I told you about and put spacing for all the different ideas, and post it again on Teen, it might get on the magazine. :) 

S M Wells replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 10:08 pm
Thanks for the time and critisism, I really apreceate it, and will put some of it to use. But one thing you pointed out, he live i the world,it was suposed to say, he lives in the world, that was a typo, sorry about that.
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