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Was It Worth It?

Our country was built on our thirst for freedom,
Built on the spilt blood of those who fought for us,
A battle unfairly fought and but rightly won,
Cries of victory drifting on the free flowing breeze,
The land of the free vivid and fresh

We are no longer vivid, nor are we fresh,
Blood is still spilt, but for what cause?
Is it for freedom or greed?
Are the lives lost worth losing?
Do the families in pain deserve the heartache?

I look around and what I see ties knots in my heart,
A gas station on one corner,
A strip club on the next,
A sunken-faced man with his emaciated dog,
Watching a woman devour a Big Mac

Profanity flies out the window of a car,
Neighbors flip each other the bird,
People get killed in drunken bar fights,
Glaring and staring are one and the same,
Hostility is the new hospitality

Police and ambulance sirens are the next Beethoven’s 9th,
The knock on a soon-to-be widow’s door is all too recognizable,
Funeral parades and obituaries clog the newspapers,
A gun in a household is like a flower in a vase,
Murder is a conversational piece

The flag waves soullessly,
Time stands still,
Land of the free,
Home of the brave,
A life lived in fear

Was it worth it?




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This article has 8 comments. Post your own!

Rayne said...
Aug. 29, 2011 at 2:01 pm:
Its really good! but I liked the version in the forum better.
 
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emanmkhan said...
Jul. 27, 2011 at 1:19 pm:
This is beautiful! In the first stanza though, I noticed you wrote "and but" so I just think you should fix that. Otherwise, I love how you make me ponder after I finished reading the poem. The poetry and the words were in sync so it flowed perfectly together. AWESOME WORK!!!! I am definetely rating this five stars.
 
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NinjaGirl This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. said...
Jul. 25, 2011 at 12:00 am:
Wow, this is brimming with emotion and very well written! Great descriptions and flow. Very, very nice job on this!!
 
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Shayna121 said...
Jul. 20, 2011 at 3:37 pm:
"And but" was the only mistake I saw and I loved this piece and the way it talks about straying from what we were and looking at what we've become...
 
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Medina D. said...
Jul. 18, 2011 at 1:35 pm:

i wasnt feeling the poeticness of this poem........it felt more like a "what matters" piece then poetry........but this isnt saying that this piece is bad.....because it is very well written. Most people dont stop and think about how the meaning of America changed over time, into something dissapointing. 

This piece brings out a lot of valid points; great job

 
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dolphin13 said...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:51 pm:
Nice Poem! I have thought similar to this. I love the part about the gun being like a flower in a vase. Keep on writing!
 
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Zinaidia said...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 7:20 am:
This is just brilliant. I loved your"Hostility is the new hospitality" My only suggestion is that in the first stanza you but "and but" when it should just be "but" otherwise, GREAT JOB!
 
WishfulDoer replied...
Jul. 8, 2011 at 10:40 am :
Thank you! And I know, that mistake haunts me every time I look at my poem, hahaha. 
 
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