Words unspoken finally revealed

I miss the summer days,
when we didn’t give a damn.
The ones where we
stayed up all night,
outside,
looking at the stars and
talking about nothing.
The ones where we would
walk and walk,
nowhere and everywhere.
There were no secrets,
no hateful words.
And yet,
there is always a
calm
before the storm.

I miss the girl who
loved instead of
hated, the girl who
laughed instead of
snarled.
I miss the girl who found
humor in
everything.
I miss the girl that I
can’t even remember anymore.
This new person wiped
all the good memories away.
I should’ve known
that you were changing.
If I had been a
real friend,
I would’ve.
Maybe you
hate me because I
didn’t notice
you’re problems.
Maybe you
hate me because I’m so
damn ignorant.
I would hate me...

But then there are things you
blame me for that I
can’t change.
I’ll
always be myself.
I’m just a bit
desperate
to be loved.
Is that so wrong?
And then you
don’t think I’m really
depressed.
But I think you’re just
saying that.
That’s not what you really think.
You told me you were
upset that I was
able to talk about it.
You were
angry because I got the
help I needed, and
you didn’t.
I know your parents are in
denial.
But that doesn’t mean that you
have to take it out on me.

But I forgive you.
I’m offering this as a
peace treaty,
as a way to say that
I take the blame.
I’m sorry for my
faults and
quirks.
I’m sorry you don’t have
help.
I’m sorry that you
can’t get it.
I’m sorry you have to
suffer.
But most of all...
I’m sorry that I
lost you.
You were one of the
best friends I could’ve
ever hoped for.
You made me feel
so incredibly happy,
you made things
right.
I love you as my sister,
so much,
but I have to
accept the fact that we’re
never going to be the same.
It was
amazing while it lasted.

And
I know
that you’re saying I’m being dramatic.
I know
you’re saying that I’m
over-thinking this.
But I feel as if it
has to be said, because
I never got to say what
I thought.
But of course,
I would never be able to say it
out loud.
It would never
come out right.
This is my only way.
So,
goodbye my lovely,
and have a
marvelous life.





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