Working Progress

June 23, 2011
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I hate It
It and its vicious ways
Of never erasing hurt hearts
Of which can never be repaired
It's said to make you stronger
But all it does is embody my weakness
If I'm not alone
Then why is it that I feel trapped in loneliness?
Buried in wretched pain 
Of what only I have the power to allow myself to fix
It streams into a well of saltwater 
I'm slowly drowning
No matter how much I put up an effort to keep It hidden,
It always seems to seep through
The prolonged goodbye I dread to surmount
Is chasing after me
I catch myself feeling bad for the demon inside of me
Who can never seem to let matters go
But I keep that part of me patched up
For only myself to witness
This behavior I have no control of, I'm ashamed
The battles I continuously struggle to ignore
My insanity has reached a point of destruction
Knowing the details of the truth revealed
Imagining sick images I was told so graphically about
They tell you not to
But all I can seem to do is just that - 
Dwell on the past
But it's more than just a past
It's a present
No way to manually escape
If we have the power to create such horrifying memories,
Shouldn't we be granted the power to erase them?
Her face is always there, never to disappear
Her memories lie within me, engraved deep, deep, etched into the human mind
It hurts too much
I'm sorry's just won't do..
Neither will eliminating her from social involvement of any kind
I forgive you is just an overused phrase that never really stays true to its word
What I describe is not exaggerated
There are insecurities about me that you could never even begin to fully understand
Unless you experienced my pain
But maybe I'm just too fragile..
Develop new competition, sensitive to any relation with the opposite sex
Encourage silly disputes and harsh jealousy
Series of close endings, drawn out, but never enough courage from both parts to end it peacefully
I only give credit to you and I
For putting up our fight and uniting us into something extraordinary
That not one being could falter with
It may not be what you envision
But I've fought, and I've fought,
And I will keep fighting
Because I've grown a love for you 
Much, mucb too strong to give up that easily





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