Crowded Rooms

June 22, 2011
Crowded rooms and twisted halls,
You drag your feet by the girl that knows it all,
I flinch back at a raised hand,
Except it was only a grain of sand.
I don't understand who the world works,
Eyes can see thing that open doors,
They also imagine as much as the see,
I have no clue who I'm supposed to be.
Am I strong for hiding my feelings?
For protecting myself from everything?
Does it mean I'm weak when I fall?
Especially after I used to stand so tall?
Don't lie and say I'm beautiful or as bright as the sun,
All I want to do is run.
I want to run from children,
I want to run from the devil's sin,
I want to run from my parents,
I want to run from they're little hints.
Like how they want me to talk again,
They want me to see my friends.
I'm sorry that I can't be that girl,
I'm sorry I don't want to be anyone's world,
I'm sorry all I do is disappoint.
I'd give anything to be perfect for only one moment,
Unfortunately it's not something I can rent;
All the ex boyfriends and their staring eyes,
Everything about this world makes me want to cry.
They judge me for something they also did,
And now there's a heavy punishment they bid:
Denial, pain,
Heartbreak, shame.
The door swings open and the last bell rings,
I'm out for the summer and what it'll bring.
Before I make it home it starts to rain,
Each drop seems to leave a stain;
Every morning and afternoon I walk the five miles home,
I love the long walk and how it makes me feel alone.
Not alone where there is only darkness,
But an environment full of less.
Less people and long dirt roads,
The way dirt covers my clothes,
It's not a comfortable feeling or anything bad,
But maybe I'm just sick of being sad.
I shrug off the long-sleeved black pullover,
For the first time in forever I feel almost sober.
I don't get drunk off alcohol or smoke,
But off the feeling of my heart that's broke.

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