Thunder whirls overhead and instantly

I am brought back to my childhood when

I would watch the rain with glee and

My sister would cower in my father’s arms.

And our biggest worry would be how long it would last because

I wanted it to last forever but

My sister could not wait for it to end.

And as the rain peters on the skylight I find

Myself at the kitchen table trying to

Write a history essay that I can’t
Seem to get myself to focus on because

Instead of ideas, memories

Are flowing through my head and

I find myself wishing that everything that

Comforted me in childhood could
Still comfort me now even though

I know it can’t. But still

I yearn for the cool of my sister’s hand in

Mine as we did things that we probably

Weren’t supposed to do like

Torment our little sister or use all of

The wanton wrappers.

And I consider going out in the rain because it

Feels like getting a hug and the rain will

Wash away my tears.

And suddenly I’m thrust back into

Now

Where I hear her behind me and wonder how

She could have possibly

Missed it and not realized that I

Too wanted a hug or that my voice

Caught when I said goodnight or that I

Still whispered “I love you” hoping to

Get one in return but

The rain will cover up the sound of my

Tears and she’ll never find out although

When I go to bed my eyes will be red and

Puffy and I’ll know that if I look in

The right places I will find someone

To love me.