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Inflicted Confusion

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If only I could stick to my original thoughts.
I go in with the best intention,
but losing what I was taught.

I don't know how I truly feel,
I don't know what is real.
If I could get it all out,
I would pour it like a spout.

I lost who I was on my way here.
I tried too hard to cover the mistake I've made along the way.
I became the shell of who I was,
I don't know who I'll be today.

What is the best for me?
Who really cares?
These answers always come with a fee.

I'm sorry for f--king you over, time and time again.
I'm even sorrier that you never had a clue, but you can't always win.

I don't know which way is right,
it's hard guiding darkness through the night.

You say you miss the old me,
I'm not as tough.
I won't make you happy, I'll never be good enough.

To lose you is relief,
staying is too much grief.
I keep holding on to a memory of you, the problem is that the old doesn't fit with the new.

Maybe I became someone else,
but why can't I ever see this for myself?

I can't figure me out.

How much more can I take?
Please, let me break!
I just want to be free,
I want to figure out ME!

I'm sorry, I can't take control, those types of emotions take such a toll.

You're not to blame at all,
I don't mind to fall.

I'm sorry I put you through my self-discovery,
but I should have never had to make this recovery.

I've lied, I cheated, and in the end..I was defeated.

Now, honestly,
I'm tired of being wrong.
Those mistakes I made felt so right for so long.
I'm young, I had to live.
I always gave you more than you could EVER give.



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