It’s dark and cold. The wind strikes my face hard. I close my eyes tight to keep the tears from falling. Feels like I’m being stabbed by a sharp knife as my knees hit the hard concrete floor. I open my eyes, the tears start to run, they come in a down pour. I use all my strength to stand from the ground. I ran, I ran as fast as I could, as far as I could. I’m getting nowhere. It’s darker and darker, colder and colder. My tears still running, my knees throbbing, as if a heartbeat is inside of them. It hit me, it hit me hard. I couldn’t breathe, I’m gasping for air, I felt like I was drowning. I wanted to give up, I couldn’t take it anymore, I can’t. I closed my eyes, took a long deep breath. I said to myself, “you can”. I opened my eyes one last time, and there was the door. I opened it, and closed it behind me. The sun was shining, the air felt warm. My tears stopped running, my knees stopped throbbing. My heart felt loved. I was free, I’m free. Freedom.
June 17, 2011