Hiding Myself

June 19, 2011
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Who am I?
I don’t wear the star of David,
Yet it’s still close to my heart.
Even my parents told me to keep quiet
About my views, our views.
To not tell anyone who I am
Wearing a mask everyday
With a silenced heart.
Hiding myself,
I want to speak out
But I’ll keep my promise.

My parents left a few weeks ago.
I didn’t know why or where.
Forbidden questions with unknown answers
Thought to be the best for me,
But the mystery makes me worry.
If I’ll ever see them again
If they’re even still alive.

Looking around,
Making sure no one’s around,
Opening the bottom drawer
Borrowed from my neighbor.
And tucked under my clothes,
I view the items.
The forbidden items of my past:
My star that I was never to take out,
My Torah that i swore never to share,
And the photograph of my parents.
The tears begin to fall.

With a harsh knock on the door,
All of us were startled.
Closing my drawer quickly as I could,
Trying to conceal my dark hair,
I knew who it would be:
Enemy at the door:
The people who took my parents away.
This time they’re looking for me.
My neighbors told them i was their daughter
But in my heart I know who i am:
Who I really am.
Or do i?
My life is gone
And everything important to who I am
Fits inside one drawer.

As they leave then relief blows over me,
Drying my tears of insecurity.

Running my fingers through my long dark locks
Wondering why we are treated like rocks.

Innocent children everywhere
Killed for no real reason
No crime taking place.

They don’t know me
But they want to imprison me.
Without a reason, without a fault.
Fear all day long rushes through my veins.
I know it’s coming but I don’t know when.
They could come back .
They could find out I don’t really belong
Even without the star of David.

I cry again,
I cry for my family,
I cry for my neighbors
Whose lives are threatened.
I cry for my safety,
I cry for all of us.
Every child in danger,
Every innocent soul,
Everyone that’s threatened,
Those that don’t get a chance.
I cry for those in worse situations.

Hope somehow still dries my tears
And keeps my heart beating.
Even though my brain is numb.
I don’t know what to think, what to do.
I can’t understand why.
Why is happening?
A horrid era to live in,
A time of separation,
Of judging,
Of ignorant, belligerent people against us.
All because Jews are different
But not everyone is uniform.
I hope for an end to this war
To peace
For every nation
Every individual.

I think about all the lives lost,
All the children, like me.
The children who are patient
And dream of harmony among nations.
I shed one last tear,
I lay down and sleep.
Hoping tomorrow will be better.

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