I whisper it to myself sometimes.

I whisper it to myself sometimes––

When I’m feeling the taste on my tongue,

chewing over the meanings and connotations of the word.

When I wish I could swallow it,

digest it,

spit it out.

When I realize I liked denial better and I was just me.

When it feels like a curse, or an insult.

A condemnation of myself.

When everything feels like a lie­­.

Maybe I’m lying right now.

Or maybe not.

I’m a terrible liar.

But I know I’m not lying­ when I whisper it to myself sometimes.





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