Barely Breathing

June 1, 2011
As the days go by my heart gets smaller,
so small some day you may never see it again,
so small no one will ever know it existed.

As the days go by I’m reminded of the past;
the memories, the laughs, the fights, the tears, the fears.
The happiness that once filled our souls so deep into passionate love is now a piece of imagination.
All of the songs, laughs, every kiss seem to mean nothing to you now.
How could you do this to me?

I see the future God has planned;
the winding road down my high school years alone,
without my other strong, loving half beside me.
I see the college life, the career world, and the struggle to survive with out you to relieve the tension.
I see the world in front of me, the most unfair world I’ve ever seen.
I see the crazy reality starting to take place…
…Before you nothing was right. I was never happy, and nothing seemed to go my way.
Then you came along and I finally felt something:
A real family, a real relationship, a real love.

As the days go by everyone tells me this is the right thing because I’m better than the way you were treating me;
but no one knows the old you that I know.
The person who taught me so much about myself and life.
No one knows the bond, the passion, and the love that took us to infinity and beyond.
No one knows how I feel.
I sit in so much fear I may fall over.
The sun is out, but it doesn’t shine on me.
The minutes take hours;
the days blur.
I’m filled with confusion, dismay, and the uncomfortable feeling never goes away.
Robbed of my love, taken for granted, ashamed that I could make someone fall out of love with me so much…
… to do all of the things that you did.

The person I care most about in the world wants nothing to do with me.
I feel like such a lie.
I’m barely breathing.

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